Chastity tips for young women

Covington's diocesan newspaper, "The Messenger" printed a wonderful reflection by a local engaged couple about their commitment to chastity. Along with the article, chastity tips for men and women were provided by Courtney Brown and I. Read the whole article on page 6 here. My column is below:

John Paul II wrote: “Chastity is a difficult, long- term matter; one must wait patiently for it to bear fruit, for the happiness of loving kindness which it must bring. But at the same time, chastity is the sure way to happiness” (“Love and Responsibility” 172). How can young women today pursue the virtue and gift of chastity?

• Start with God’s love. You are his precious daughter. When you begin to understand your dignity rooted in God, then you will want to be treated with respect.

• Don’t “missionary date.” The only person who can change him is God.

• Dress modestly. The way you dress sends one of two messages: “I am a unique, unrepeatable daughter of God, with thoughts, emotions, talents and a personality – respect and love me,” or, “I am a collection of body parts – use me.”

• Set high standards. Men will reach them. Good men do exist.

• Our attitudes affect our behavior. Constantly evaluate your attitude
toward dating and relationships. Are you grasping for attention,
affirmation or a self-esteem boost? Or are you trusting God
and opening your hands to receive whatever he has for you in his
perfect timing? Chastity begins with seeing love as a gift from God.

• Be on guard against using men to satisfy your emotions.
Grow in respect and authentic love by the way you think about, speak about and behave toward men.

• Ask God for the grace to live the beautiful virtue of chastity. Frequent prayer and reception of the sacraments are necessary to live a chaste lifestyle.

• Pray for your future husband. In the difficult moments of saying “no,” remember that you are saying “yes” to him and to the One who created him.