Christmas gift list ... or should I say book list

It's been awhile since I've offered a Theology of the Body-inspired Christmas list for those of you looking for gift ideas (whether for friends and family or for your own wish list).  This year, though, I've seen sufficient new material to warrant a new post.  I try to stick with new resources, though a few other ideas might pop up in the list.

First up, we have Prof. Stanislaw Grygiel's "Discovering the Human Person: In Conversation with John Paul II."  The "in conversation" phrase seems to be applied rather liberally to biographies and studies of saints, but this particular book is written by a student and friend of the late Holy Father.  I have not read the book yet but was able to hear some of Prof. Grygiel's reflections in person at the John Paul Institute in Washington, DC.  He always had beautiful insights to share, and left us in awe of his personal experiences with the late Holy Father.


While we're on the subject of St. John Paul, I'd highly recommend Jason Evert's St. John Paul the Great: His Five Loves  Or, for about triple the cost of one book, purchase 32 copies in paperback to give to all of your friends.  Leave a copy on a coffee shop table with a note to anyone who would like to take it.  It's a different kind of biography -- a collection of verified stories of JPII that give fresh insight into who he was and what he loved.  My copy is quite underlined and asterisked. 


These Beautiful Bones: An Everyday Theology of the Body by Emily Stimpson didn't come out this past year, but made its debut late enough in 2013 to warrant a mention.  What a beautiful book!  Emily Stimpson is a gifted writer, with words simply flowing from her pen in such a way as to captivate the reader with her beauty, humor and insight.  Her book seeks to go beyond the idea that Theology of the Body is "just about sex" and instead to challenge us all to see how we can live TOB more fully in other areas of our lives (manners, what we eat, how we work, etc.).  It's the perfect book for the TOB aficionado and the person who has never heard of Theology of the Body.  All will find insight, challenge and beauty.  

Another book that I have not yet read but which looks quite promising is Anthony Esolen's Defending Marriage: Twelve Arguments for Sanity.  I've long found Prof. Esolen's writing to be engaging, witty and enlightening, and I have no doubt his reflections on this important matter will not disappoint.  
 

For the newly expecting couple, "Gift of Joy: The Blessing of the Child in the Womb" is excellent.  The actual blessing is not in the book.  Instead, co-authors Archbishop Joseph Kurtz and Msgr. Brian Bransfield introduce parents more fully into comprehending the mystery they are living while awaiting the birth of their child.  



I'm sure there are plenty of other items I could add, though I risk not posting this until it's too late to purchase these books in time for Christmas.  For the Theology of the Body or St. John Paul II fans in your life, chances are likely that at least one of these items is not yet in their possession.

Happy gift-giving and receiving!

A most succinct summary of the human person

When the hundreds of pages of Theology of the Body need to be summarized in a minute or two, it's difficult to know what to say.  How to say enough without saying too much?

In the current issue of the "National Catholic Register," Katie van Schaijik fulfilled the task admirably.

To be a human person is to be made in the image and likeness of God. It is to be absolutely unique and unrepeatable. It is to exist from love and for love, with others and for others. It is to be embodied, incomplete and in need. It is to be called to a life-giving union and communion with God and others — or, with God through others.

Read more of her thoughts on "Personalism and Pope Francis" and the recent Synod at http://www.ncregister.com/site/article/personalism-and-pope-francis/#ixzz3JdyvgVny.  

If I had five minutes to present at the Extraordinary Synod ...

Now I know that I am not, nor ever will be, an invited guest at the Synod.  There are married couples present in the discussions right now from around the world.  Most, if not all, of the couples have been married for decades and lead various marriage preparation or enrichment programs across the globe.  They have all been given a few minutes to speak to the Holy Father and the 200 or so bishops in attendance.  Their statements have also been disseminated to the public through the Vatican Press Office.

Knowing that I am not a national or world marriage leader, nor a veteran of a marriage spanning decades, as the Synod unfolds, there are still a few things I wish I could say -- that someone would say -- to the Synod fathers.  It would be something like this ...

Holy Father Pope Francis, Cardinals and Bishops of the world -- thank you for making marriage and the family such a priority that you are dedicating two Synods -- an "extraordinary" and an "ordinary" -- to these topics.  Thank you for wanting to bring the beautiful truth of these teachings to the world.  Thank you for recognizing the struggles and graces of family life and seeking to better understand so as to articulate the incredible identity of the family.

It is certainly no secret that marriage and the family are under great attack in our world.  This is manifested in differing ways by continent, country and region.  I believe, however, that all of these attacks have one thing at heart.  It is what St. John Paul II referred to in his encyclical letter, "Evangelium Vitae" as the "eclipse of the sense of God and of man."

The crisis of marriage and family is fundamentally, I believe, a crisis of anthropology.  We do not know who we are.  Formed strongly by the industrial, sexual and technological revolutions, we think we are what we do, the pleasure we obtain and the speed at which we can obtain objects and pleasure.  We, as a culture, as a world, are massively confused about what it means to be human; what love, freedom, sacrifice, truth, suffering, conscience, sexuality, our very bodies are and mean.  

It's a common misconception that the Church's "rules" are arbitrary and perhaps even vindictive sentences from a group of celibate men.  It is widely believed that Church teaching is not rooted in anything, is not valid or thoughtful or for our own good.  

This is what we need you to teach and preach and live and encourage.  The world needs to know that because of who we are -- and because of who God is -- we are called and invited to live accordingly.  We need to know that the Church doesn't give us arbitrary rules but a beautiful plan to be authentically human.  We need to know that openness to life isn't something we should grit our teeth and bear, but something we are blessed to receive.  We need to know that same-sex attraction doesn't make a person evil or undermine their dignity, but that same-sex sexual encounters cannot fulfill us.  We need to know that cohabitation isn't "test driving" commitment, but instead that we are capable of the radical risk of giving our life to our spouse.

We don't just need to hear about controversial teachings, though these are important.  We need to hear that marriage is a Sacrament, a vocation, a path to holiness.  We need to hear that marriage is a privileged way of revealing God's love to the world.  We need to hear the stories of married saints whose family life was heroically lived.  We need to hear Mass petitions for families.  We need to be sent forth with confidence that God's grace makes love possible.

We need to be challenged.  We live in a culture of mediocrity.  We are told consistently not to strive for higher things -- in fact, that we are incapable of higher things.  The Church is the lone voice stating confidently, "You are called to be more!"  This is a compliment, not an insult.  We need to hear it, to know it, to believe it.

We need mercy, yes, but we also need truth.  In fact, the two belong together.  To receive both of these, we need to know who we are.  And this brings us back to the beginning (literally, to the beginning of these thoughts and to the "beginning" of Genesis).  Holy Father, Cardinals and Bishops, you have been entrusted with so much goodness and beauty -- promoting and safeguarding the Catholic faith in the world today.  We need you to remind us of who we are, who the family is, who God is, and what He is calling each of us to live.  We don't need the truth to be watered down; we need it to be lovingly expressed.  

Please don't forget that the Church's teaching on marriage and family is beautiful.  What a gift to the world if you could remind us of that, encourage us to embrace that beauty and renew our confidence that this beauty is possible.  

Come hear Archbishop Kurtz, president of the USCCB, at Ruah Woods' banquet!

Are you coming to hear Archbishop Kurtz at Ruah Woods' fifth annual banquet?  It promises to be a wonderful evening. 

What's going to happen at the Extraordinary Synod in October?

With all of the recent hype and speculation about the upcoming Extraordinary Synod on the Family, you would think the doctrines of the Catholic Church are about to change. Reading the just-released "Instrumentum Laboris" -- a summary of the world's bishops' reflections on the status of marriage and the family today -- gives a different picture. Here's my take at Aleteia.

Just to get you started:

The world’s bishops have taken stock of today’s cultural landscape with respect to marriage and the family and have found a serious lack of understanding–and therefore, living–of the Church’s teaching. It comes as no surprise to those in the trenches, (or even to those who just pick up a newspaper occasionally). We’ve all seen headlines about the legalization of same-sex “marriage.” We’ve all observed a blasé attitude toward marriage among family, friends, neighbors or colleagues, attitudes that non-judgmentally condone contraception, cohabitation and divorce. But for the Church’s hierarchy to acknowledge the difference between the faith and how it’s lived is an important admission. 

There are plenty of questions regarding who might be to blame–Are parents catechizing their children? Were the parents ever formed? Are priests preaching or advising properly in confession? Are bishops promoting defense of the family as a priority? Are marriage preparation programs adequate?


The tone of the document, however, is not to find a scapegoat; it is to acknowledge that something must be done. The victims of our marriage-destructive culture are many and are identified in the document–children of divorce, single mothers, spouses remaining faithful to wedding vows though separated, abused women and children, those living in canonically irregular situations and so forth. The document reveals that the bishops are aware of the grave challenges now facing the world and of the way these challenges converge and relate to the family, the fundamental cell of society.

Read the rest here.

Are you coming to Camp Echo?

Looking at tattoos through Theology of the Body

Emily Stimpson has a thought-provoking piece on tattoos, through the lens of Theology of the Body.

3. Last but not least, I have no desire for tattoos because I’m more interested in seeing what God does with my body than I am in seeing what some tattoo artist can do with it.

It goes back to that starting principle: The body expresses the person.

Emily today isn’t the same as Emily 10 years ago. Not on the inside and not on the outside. I have scars now that weren’t there in 2003. I also have lines, wrinkles, and (approximately) three gray hairs. But there’s also a softness to me that wasn’t there a decade ago. There’s more peace, more confidence, and more love. That somehow shows up too. It’s written on my face as much as the years and the pain are.

That’s the story I’m interested in my body telling. And God’s way, as opposed to mine, is the way I’m interested in telling it. Life—joy and suffering, peace and pain, sickness and health, what I love and what I hate, what I do and what I don’t do—will be tattooing my body according to God’s design for as long as I walk this earth. Then, by His grace, when I get my resurrected body in Heaven, those “tattoos” will shine like the sun.

Why mess with that?

Be sure to read the whole piece here.

Upcoming teacher workshops at Ruah Woods

Are you an educator, teacher, catechist or someone who teaches the faith?  Do you know someone who is? Check out the two workshops offered by Ruah Woods this summer -- Theology of the Body for Teachers and Special Topics: Gender and Sexual Identity.  Both classes are filling up quickly, so click on the links above to register before it's too late.

God's calling in the produce aisle

I decided to resurrect an old post of mine that originally appeared on Catholic Exchange's now retired Theology of the Body site.  It was written in the spring of 2010, but the message is still timely.

............

Rushing out of my study cave with the great cloud of comprehensive exam induced stress hovering above my head, I plotted out my plan of attack for the grocery store shopping to which I was heading.  Nothing was going to stand between the milk aisle and me because any second lost was a second I would not be fervently studying.

Source

My perfectly constructed plans reached a fork in the road after two steps into the store, when a salesman invited me to sign up for a gift card giveaway.  I stood hesitating, attempting to decide between blowing off the opportunity to win $100 and surrendering some of my study time.  For some reason, I chose the latter.

As I filled out the raffle ticket, the salesman invited me to sign up for a newspaper deal.  Still in a hurry, I explained that I would be moving in three months, so a 26-week subscription to a DC paper wouldn’t do me much good.  And like any good salesman, he began a conversation: Where was I moving?  First time there?  Why was I in DC?  What was I studying?  What would I be doing after graduation?

That was the moment when I began to realize that God was calling me to share Theology of the Body.  In the middle of the produce aisle, I began explaining, now with genuine enthusiasm in my voice, how the late Holy Father spent the first five years of his pontificate developing this beautiful teaching.  Instead of a microphone in my hand, I held my shopping list, and instead of standing in a room full of people eager to hear about the pope’s words, I stood amidst the broccoli, bananas and bell peppers.

“See, a lot of people think the body is bad.  They assume that when we die, only our soul will go to heaven.  Or they think that the body is bad, and the soul is good,” I explained. 

“But John Paul spent five years explaining that our bodies are good.  He talked about how we are made in the image and likeness of God, and that includes our bodies.  We can tell by the fact that He created us male and female, that we are called to love.  We are called to give ourselves to each other – whether it be in marriage, or even in a smaller capacity like volunteering to help others.  God isn’t sexual, but He is love, and in our bodies we are able to image that.”

Surprised, the salesman (who was also taken aback at having met someone who has never left the Catholic faith) asked if Theology of the Body is only for Catholics.  I assured him that it isn’t, and that it applies to everyone.  I gave him the example of a Protestant church I’m aware of planning to host a series of Theology of the Body study groups this year.

And right there in the middle of the apples, asparagus and arugula, the salesman shared the story of when his father, a Protestant minister, first explained to him that God is love. 

In those few minutes, the salesman wasn’t making any commission, and I wasn’t memorizing what Aristotle wrote about matter and form.  But God was calling.  He was asking that the work be set aside for a moment, and that He be given the priority.

As I walked away, a little slower than before, I chuckled at God’s insistence that I remember what’s really important.  There I was, placing my exams above everything, nearly ignoring the opportunity to talk to a person about God’s plan.  Ironically, isn’t it for people that I am taking these exams and completing these studies?  Isn’t my desire to help others come to see the beauty of Theology of the Body? 

It’s a lesson we need repeated frequently.  When preparing Sunday’s homily, or researching for next week’s CCD lesson, or reading a new book about Theology of the Body, how often do we get lost in what we have to get done and forget why we are immersed in this work in the first place?  If it’s not about our love of God and neighbor, then haven’t we missed the point?

John Paul seems a wonderful example of a man whose work was for his love of God and neighbor.  His encyclicals, letters, addresses and even Theology of the Body audiences weren’t an academic exercise for their own sake – they were for people.  John Paul wrote, spoke and lived for the man working in a rice field in China, for the woman oppressed in Sudan, for the Polish couple contemplating marriage, for the El Salvadorian family having difficulty putting food on the table. 

In Laborem Exercens, he wrote:

[H]owever true it may be that man is destined for work and called to it, in the first place work is "for man" and not man "for work. […] in the final analysis it is always man who is the purpose of the work, whatever work it is that is done by man – even if the common scale of values rates it as the merest "service", as the most monotonous even the most alienating work. (#6)

No matter where God calls us, reminding us of the constant necessity of reordering our priorities, it’s a lesson worth heeding.  

Are you coming to Camp Echo?

Time is running out to register for Cincinnati's first Camp Echo, a unique Theology of the Body camp for high school students.  The registration deadline is May 30, so you have 10 days to pray and apply.  We would love to see you there!

Spread the word to any high school students you know, as well as young adults who play a unique role in the camp.  Teens come from far and near, so don't hesitate to share the news with young people who are a plane ride away from Cincinnati.

 

Quote book

"'Purity of heart' is gained by the one who knows how to be consistently demanding from his 'heart'" from his 'heart' and from his 'body.'" -- Blessed John Paul II

Prayers please

Courtney Brown and I will be speaking to students from all of the Catholic high schools in northern Kentucky today. Please pray for us and for the openness of the students. We are thrilled to have the opportunity to share the message that we are "made for more" with so many young people.

Damon Owens coming to Ft. Laramie

If you're a reader from the northern areas of the Archdiocese of Cincinnati, or if you are interested in a beautiful drive in the country, check out Damon Owen's upcoming talks in Ft. Laramie, Ohio.

Ruah Woods' event on Feb. 1

10 "Good News" moments of 2011

Last year, I celebrated the close of 2009 with a list of the top ten highlights of the year associated with Theology of the Body, Kenosis and Ruah Woods. I always enjoy remembering what God has done in the past 365 days, so I’m going to embark on the project again this year. What opportunities have we been blessed with this year?

10) Brian Butler coming to town

In April, Ruah Woods partnered with the Archdiocese of Cincinnati to host Brian Butler’s Theology of the Body for Teens training program. It was so refreshing to hear Brian speak, holding his audiences captive by sharing the hunger of teens for a challenging, beautiful message. It was also encouraging to see how many teachers, DREs, youth ministers and parents filed into St. Peter in Huber Heights and Immaculate Heart of Mary in Anderson Township to learn how to communicate TOB to the youth.

9) Kenosis Discipleship Week

In July we had our first Kenosis Discipleship Week – an opportunity for high school students to receive from the Lord and then to learn how to concretely give of themselves to their schools, parishes, family and friends. We had Mass every day, generously offered by local priests. We spent time in prayer, reflection, small groups and education sessions. We also had working groups, bringing their gifts and talents to the table to see how they can reach others in creative ways.

8) Tremendous range of speaking opportunities

It is such a joy to be able to share various aspects of Theology of the Body with an incredible range of audiences. This year, there were plenty of high schools, parishes, a couple of middle schools, Northern Kentucky University, Marian University, the Edith Stein Project at the University of Notre Dame, Theology on Tap, the first Parrhesia young adult conference in Cincinnati. With such a range of topics and audiences (junior high, high school, college, parents, academics, young adults), I am always given new opportunities to learn and to grow.

7) Kenosis Restore retreat: Encounter at the Well

This year’s Kenosis Restore retreat centered on John 4 – the encounter of Jesus with the woman at the well. It was a wonderful opportunity for the teens to pray, reflect in silence, spend time with other Kenosis teens, and learn about Christ’s thirst for union with each of us as a unique, unrepeatable person. These retreats are vitally important to our philosophy of first receiving God’s love in a relationship with Him, which enables us to give in whatever way the Lord invites us to give of ourselves.

6) World Youth Day

Madrid, Spain was my third (and quite possibly, last) World Youth Day, but my first as a chaperone. It was beautiful to watch the teens’ desire to be open to all that God had for them on the pilgrimage. It was also quite stunning to witness a million or more young people kneeling in the mud in complete silence during Exposition

of the Blessed Sacrament, led by Pope Benedict XVI. This is exactly what people need to experience when they accuse the young of an inability to rise to the challenge of faith.

5) Teaching at the seminary

What a tremendous gift it was for me to be able to teach a Theology of the Body master’s course at Mt. St. Mary’s Seminary of the West and the Athenaeum in Cincinnati this fall! It was an honor to be able to teach future priests, as well as two laypeople. I was also given the opportunity to further immerse myself in Theology of the Body and in the more precise theological aspects of the teaching that are not fit for hour-long talks or teen retreats. It is also exciting to see how an “adequate anthropology” might impact future homilies, marriage prep programs, and other parish initiatives.

4) Working with the Kenosis teens on various projects, retreats, etc.

This year, my fellow Theology of the Body education coordinator and I have striven to give the Kenosis teens opportunities to use their gifts and talents to build a culture of life and a civilization of love. We have had a junior core of six high sch

ool students on TOB for Teens retreats. Two teens created an incredible new promo video, which debuted at our September banquet. Some students have traveled with us to speak to junior high students. There are countless opportunities to use gifts of speaking, design, video work, writing, prayer and leadership to serve the youth of the Tri-state area.

3) Hearing a young man at TOB for Teens talk about his sudden desire to become a priest.

During a Theology of the Body for Teens program, one young man struggled to put into words the consistent call he felt during the program: “Even though you didn’t talk much about it explicitly, I kept hearing this voice say, ‘Be a priest! Be a priest!’ Then you brought a seminarian to speak to us, and I felt like he was talking to me. I want to consider going to college seminary next year, because I think this may be where God is calling me.”

2) Called to be More vocations pilgrimage walk

How to summarize one week of walking 150 miles with ten high school students and five adults in order to pray for vocations, discern personal vocations and to witness to the astonishing fact that God always calls us to be more? There were plenty of blisters, sore feet, injured knees and

ankles, long days of walking. But there were also beautiful churches (we stopped to pray in 30 of them), wonderful conversations with people along the journey, a wealth of community prayer and plenty of laughter. Even in the suffering, there

was joy. The teens are still talking about the pilgrimage walk and the ways in which it has impacted them.

1) John Paul II’s beatification

Not only was John Paul II beatified this May 1, but I was blessed to be present at St. Peter’s Square for the big event. How incredible to stand with a million or more people from around the world, as Pope Benedict XVI made the official proclamation. We applauded until our arms ached while they unveiled the portrait of Bl. John Paul II. The beatification gave me the chance to thank a man who I never had the opportunity to meet while he was on earth (though I did see him from a few feet away at World Youth Day 2002). Bl. John Paul II’s influence on my life continues to this day. How fitting to make a pilgrimage in order to thank him and to thank God for sending us such an incredible Holy Father in a unique time in the history of the Church and of the world.

God's calling in the produce aisle

Below is an old article of mine from Catholic Exchange before they removed their Theology of the Body section:

Rushing out of my study cave with the great cloud of comprehensive exam induced stress hovering above my head, I plotted out my plan of attack for the grocery store shopping to which I was heading. Nothing was going to stand between the milk aisle and me because any second lost was a second I would not be fervently studying.

My perfectly constructed plans reached a fork in the road after two steps into the store, when a salesman invited me to sign up for a gift card giveaway. I stood hesitating, attempting to decide between blowing off the opportunity to win $100 and surrendering some of my study time. For some reason, I chose the latter.

As I filled out the raffle ticket, the salesman invited me to sign up for a newspaper deal. Still in a hurry, I explained that I would be moving in three months, so a 26-week subscription to a DC paper wouldn’t do me much good. And like any good salesman, he began a conversation: Where was I moving? First time there? Why was I in DC? What was I studying? What would I be doing after graduation?

That was the moment when I began to realize that God was calling me to share Theology of the Body. In the middle of the produce aisle, I began explaining, now with genuine enthusiasm in my voice, how the late Holy Father spent the first five years of his pontificate developing this beautiful teaching. Instead of a microphone in my hand, I held my shopping list, and instead of standing in a room full of people eager to hear about the pope’s words, I stood amidst the broccoli, bananas and bell peppers.

“See, a lot of people think the body is bad. They assume that when we die, only our soul will go to heaven. Or they think that the body is bad, and the soul is good,” I explained.

“But John Paul spent five years explaining that our bodies are good. He talked about how we are made in the image and likeness of God, and that includes our bodies. We can tell by the fact that He created us male and female, that we are called to love. We are called to give ourselves to each other – whether it be in marriage, or even in a smaller capacity like volunteering to help others. God isn’t sexual, but He is love, and in our bodies we are able to image that.”

Surprised, the salesman (who was also taken aback at having met someone who has never left the Catholic faith) asked if Theology of the Body is only for Catholics. I assured him that it isn’t, and that it applies to everyone. I gave him the example of a Protestant church I’m aware of planning to host a series of Theology of the Body study groups this year.

And right there in the middle of the apples, asparagus and arugula, the salesman shared the story of when his father, a Protestant minister, first explained to him that God is love.

In those few minutes, the salesman wasn’t making any commission, and I wasn’t memorizing what Aristotle wrote about matter and form. But God was calling. He was asking that the work be set aside for a moment, and that He be given the priority.

As I walked away, a little slower than before, I chuckled at God’s insistence that I remember what’s really important. There I was, placing my exams above everything, nearly ignoring the opportunity to talk to a person about God’s plan. Ironically, isn’t it for people that I am taking these exams and completing these studies? Isn’t my desire to help others come to see the beauty of Theology of the Body?

It’s a lesson we need repeated frequently. When preparing Sunday’s homily, or researching for next week’s CCD lesson, or reading a new book about Theology of the Body, how often do we get lost in what we have to get done and forget why we are immersed in this work in the first place? If it’s not about our love of God and neighbor, then haven’t we missed the point?

John Paul seems a wonderful example of a man whose work was for his love of God and neighbor. His encyclicals, letters, addresses and even Theology of the Body audiences weren’t an academic exercise for their own sake – they were for people. John Paul wrote, spoke and lived for the man working in a rice field in China, for the woman oppressed in Sudan, for the Polish couple contemplating marriage, for the El Salvadorian family having difficulty putting food on the table.

In Laborem Exercens, he wrote:

[H]owever true it may be that man is destined for work and called to it, in the first place work is "for man" and not man "for work. […] in the final analysis it is always man who is the purpose of the work, whatever work it is that is done by man – even if the common scale of values rates it as the merest "service", as the most monotonous even the most alienating work. (#6)

No matter where God calls us, reminding us of the constant necessity of reordering our priorities, it’s a lesson worth heeding.

Letter to my future spouse

A young man who studied Theology of the Body for Teens (as far as I know, not in Cincinnati) created this video after completing the program:

Evangelization on the highway

A car-full of girls in Kenosis were recently on a roadtrip, when they were engaged in an innocent encounter of waving to another car. The other car -- full of several teen boys -- was not content with a simple waving match on the highway. One of the boys held up a sign in the window with an inappropriate message.

The girls, all schooled in Theology of the Body, decided this was a moment for evangelization. They scrambled for paper and pen in the car, and then wrote: "Respect. We are precious gifts."

The boys didn't get it. So the girls countered again: "Why would you want to use us?"

Still, the boys were confused, so the ladies responded: "Be men. Not boys."

The boys drove away. The girls continued their roadtrip. But one has to wonder how these simple messages impacted the boys. Maybe they tucked the messages in their minds for a later reflection. Maybe they were intrigued. Maybe they didn't believe there were girls in the world wiling to wait for respect.

Maybe something as simple as driving down the highway became an invitation to these young men to live the fact that they were made for more.

Welcome to the Culture

Once upon a time, when CatholicExchange.com had a Theology of the Body section, this article of mind had a home on the Internet. Now that the site is down, I thought I would reintroduce it to the web:

A couple of friends and I spent the first autumn-like Saturday evening strolling through the tiny town of Rabbit Hash, Kentucky, clutching our pumpkin spice lattes to keep warm. The quaint town’s windy road, general store and 1950s pick-up trucks made me feel as if I had landed on the set of the Andy Griffith Show.

We meandered away from the live folk music played under a string of light bulbs on a small wooden outdoor stage, and spent 20 minutes in complete silence, praying, thinking and enjoying the clusters of sparkling stars above us.

Eventually we returned to the music, standing by a towering bonfire in order to feel warmth in the crisp, cool evening. Feelings of the days of yesteryear were jolted to reality by one brief conversation next to the fire.

“Do you ladies feel it’s difficult to find men who are your equal?” a 57-year-old woman asked, beginning a conversation none of us were expecting to have.

As we laughed, one of my friends asked, “What do you mean by that?”

The woman explained, “I have two daughters your age, and I was just discussing this with someone else. With women your age making more money these days, do you find it difficult to find men who are in your economic bracket?”

We were caught off guard. Since the three of us are engaged either in ministry work or in full-time studies, our economic bracket doesn’t pose much of a challenge.

Even more importantly, money doesn’t typically land on the top of our lists when considering what makes a man marriageable. One friend summarized, “That’s not really a problem for us, since we don’t make lots of money, but I find the equality issue is the case with other things.”

The woman seemed intrigued, fascinated that something other than one’s salary could elicit “three single women here tonight by yourselves.” Rather than begin a conversation on our desire for “equality” in faith and morals, one girl joked, “So, are there a lot of men in Rabbit Hash?”

Our new acquaintance quickly replied, “I found one.”

The three of us “aww’ed” in chorus, as she gestured to the man behind her. She must have met her husband here years ago, we all thought. We asked, “Are you from here originally?”

“No, I’m from Lexington, but I drove up today with a friend and we stopped at this man’s farm, and …. I think I’m in love.”

Speechless for a few moments, my friends attempted to say something, “Congratulations” was offered tentatively, as was, “That’s nice.”

The stranger around the campfire continued, “I’ve been divorced for four and a half years. I’m so happy now. And he’s really cute.”

With that, she walked away. Moments later she was in the arms of said man, both commenting along with their mutual friend about their excitement over their relationship.

Suddenly, it didn’t feel like we were in Mayberry anymore. In fact, our encounter with the 57-year-old Lexington woman jolted me to the reality of today’s culture. Money matters most. Love is just a feeling. Marriage isn’t indissoluble.

Fr. J. Brian Bransfield writes in his new book, The Human Person According to John Paul II, about the “perfect storm” that has caused a severe identity crisis for our world. With the swirling together of the Industrial Revolution (I am what I produce), the Sexual Revolution (I am what pleasure I obtain) and the Technological Revolution (I am getting things quickly), we have a new view of the identity of the human person.

In today’s world, one’s identity is viewed in terms of getting pleasure quickly. Despite the quaint backdrop of Rabbit Hash, our new acquaintance was a clear example of today’s vision of identity. Her focus on “economic equality,” and readiness to tell perfect strangers that she was “in love” with a man she had known for a few hours was the perfect – though painful in its eloquence – example of the human person getting pleasure quickly.

But that’s not the end of the story. Though the three of us never spoke about God, or explained Theology of the Body, or gave her a chastity talk, I suspect that we are not the only ones walking away confused. Clearly, seeing three young adults content without a date, without an overflowing wallet and without apparent concern for any of this was shocking.

The confidence of an identity rooted in being a child of God and the knowledge that love is a true commitment to will the good of the other, not an elusive feeling to chase, were just as surprising to this woman as her newfound “love” was to us. The bonfire encounter was a clash of cultures and identities. Our answer to the question, “Who am I?” can be glimpsed in our decisions, attitudes and desires.

Before leaving Rabbit Hash on that particular evening, we witnessed two proposals involving men fumbling for rings on the stage. One man asked his soon-to-be fiancée to hold his beer while he fished for the ring. Both proposals ended in a “yes,” sealed with much hugging and kissing before fading into the crowd. “Love is in the air in Rabbit Hash,” said the emcee.

No matter what each individual believed his identity was, each was searching for love, and each was created by God to be His son or daughter, receiving this gift before giving to others a love rooted in God’s. Despite the seeming allure of obtaining pleasure quickly, this countercultural message is the identity that will lead to happiness and bear fruit that will last. In the clash of cultures that occurred that night, the present ideology met what is hopefully the future in a setting of the past.

It's a shame how we think of shame

There always seems to be a great deal of confusion surrounding John Paul II's explanation of "Original Nakedness" (the ability of Adam and Eve to see one another as pure gift before the Fall) and his discussion of shame after the Fall. In our American minds, we tend to hear, "shame" and think of guilt, embarrassment over something bad or a hiding in fear. So, consequently, we hear people infer that a truly redeemed person should be able to embrace nakedness. Recently, I heard someone remark that the problem comes into play when God asks, "Who told you that you were naked?".

Yet the issue when God asked Adam and Eve this question wasn't the fact that they knew they were naked ... it was the fact that distrust, fear and a grasping for self-fulfillment had entered into the logic of the gift. When sin entered the picture, the reverence for the other that had existed from the beginning had to be lived in a new way. And this is shame.

Shame, then, is good. No, it's not the perfect, all-beautiful plan that God had for us from the beginning. But it is a way protecting the spousal meaning of the body, of recognizing our call to greatness. Shame serves two purposes -- to protect oneself from being used by another, and to inspire love.

Perhaps "modesty" is a term that we can relate to a bit more easily than "shame." Either way, we have to see that shame is not some sort of evil. It's actually a good. And it's meant to protect a good.

If you have your doubts, check out Genesis 3:21 -- "And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins, and clothed them."

Yes, God gave Adam and Eve clothes. He provided for them and protected them in a new way in the face of sin. He invited them to cover themselves not out of fear or embarrassment, but out of love.