"Modesty is about revealing your dignity"

http://jessicarey.com/#

Try as I might, I can't seem to upload this video to the blog.  So, take my word for it that Jessica Rey's brief presentation on "The Evolution of the Swimsuit" is well worth your time.  

Today it's a given that 95% of women will spend their beach time in a bikini.  But has that always been the case?  Learn more about what you wear in the water.  

The video is available here.

"It's not easy being a woman"

My latest contribution to the Archdiocese of Cincinnati's new blog is online today.

Kermit once said, “It’s not easy being green.” Such is no longer the case. Green is “in.” Green is hip. Green is as convenient as purchasing the cloth grocery bag, conveniently located right next to the convenient scan-it-yourself aisle. Green is available at farmer’s markets and specialty stores and even regular grocery stores. Green is loudly touted by the media, by the teachers, by the government.

But, you know what’s not easy? It’s not easy being a woman.

This thought struck me as I opened a new bag of bread on Monday morning. As I untwisted the tie, I realized that staring back at me was a bikini-clad beach volleyball player. My first thought wasn’t about how many crunches I would have to do to try to look like her. Instead my first thought was, “Poor woman!” Here she is living as an athlete, and a view of her body that only her husband should see is plastered on plastic bags holding bread. Men, women and children throughout the country are being treated to her body while they make their daily sandwich, and her dignity, her mystery, her treasure is completely disregarded.

I managed to swallow my sandwich before heading back to my computer. Good thing too, because I next came across this story about a new app that tells its users about nearby women. The app, “Girls Around Me,” is in a bit of trouble for not seeking permission to share information from Foursquare and Facebook to alert men as to what women may be within reach.

Some may read these stories and rightly cry, “Objectification!” But sadly, many, many women view these as compliments. Many women today find their sole value in how they look, what they wear, how many catcalls they hear as they walk to their school or their place of employment. There is a lost sense of sacredness.

It’s why we see women of all ages running errands in tank tops and spandex. It’s why there is such a sense of competition between women regarding their clothes, makeup and hair. It’s why we view our treasure as our salary, our GPA, our ability to be Superwoman, instead of as being a precious daughter of God.

Read the rest on Being Catholic.

Quote book

"If you really want to know if your attire is fitting for a Christian woman, ask yourself: If Jesus Christ returned to earth, would I want to meet Him while wearing this outfit? Although it may sound a bit apocalyptic, dress like you're ready for the Second Coming. It's not just about preparing to meet your judge. It's about preparing to meet your groom. Dress accordingly." -- Jason and Crystalina Evert in "How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul"

A Message from Leah Darrow - Fashion + Modesty

It's a shame how we think of shame

There always seems to be a great deal of confusion surrounding John Paul II's explanation of "Original Nakedness" (the ability of Adam and Eve to see one another as pure gift before the Fall) and his discussion of shame after the Fall. In our American minds, we tend to hear, "shame" and think of guilt, embarrassment over something bad or a hiding in fear. So, consequently, we hear people infer that a truly redeemed person should be able to embrace nakedness. Recently, I heard someone remark that the problem comes into play when God asks, "Who told you that you were naked?".

Yet the issue when God asked Adam and Eve this question wasn't the fact that they knew they were naked ... it was the fact that distrust, fear and a grasping for self-fulfillment had entered into the logic of the gift. When sin entered the picture, the reverence for the other that had existed from the beginning had to be lived in a new way. And this is shame.

Shame, then, is good. No, it's not the perfect, all-beautiful plan that God had for us from the beginning. But it is a way protecting the spousal meaning of the body, of recognizing our call to greatness. Shame serves two purposes -- to protect oneself from being used by another, and to inspire love.

Perhaps "modesty" is a term that we can relate to a bit more easily than "shame." Either way, we have to see that shame is not some sort of evil. It's actually a good. And it's meant to protect a good.

If you have your doubts, check out Genesis 3:21 -- "And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins, and clothed them."

Yes, God gave Adam and Eve clothes. He provided for them and protected them in a new way in the face of sin. He invited them to cover themselves not out of fear or embarrassment, but out of love.

Does modesty impact women's friendships with one another?

Find out what Jennifer Fulwiler has to say.

"One Mom's Modesty Manifesto"

This is a wonderful op-ed about modesty from a mother. It should be required reading for all parents, especially as the modesty issue heats up during the summer months.

A start:

But today we live with the fallout from the Sexual Revolution, which preached through the media, movies and music that sexuality is one thing, morality another. And girls should be as aggressive and uninhibited as guys.

What a radical departure from how God designed us. I remember when Samantha was a teenager. She and her friends would wear their dads’ T-shirts over their relatively modest bathing suits. They were uncomfortable exposing so much flesh.

Today’s girls, bombarded by Victoria’s Secret, Abercrombie & Fitch, and more, have adapted to the hot water when they should have jumped out of the pot a long time ago. Unless they’ve been taught to seriously consider the message their clothing may be sending, they may be clueless about their own complicity in the sexualization of today’s teen culture.

My girls struggle with the desire to be hip and the desire to be pleasing to God. But in some ways they are fortunate. Sex is discussed frankly in our family. They’ve heard four big brothers explain how differently guys are affected by visual stimulation. They’ve been taught that they have a responsibility to be modest.

Read it all here.

Jason Evert - Modesty and Romance

Reasons for modesty

Marcel LeJeune provides a wonderful list of "Top 10 Reasons Women Should Dress Modestly."

Here are the first five:

10 - Modesty reflects an understanding of who a woman truly is.
Modesty starts inside a person's heart and mind. Who am I? Why do I exist? If a woman answers she is a beautiful daughter of God, then modesty will naturally follow.


9 - Modesty isn't about dressing in unattractive clothes as some think it is.
There are too many options in clothing to not give modesty a try. Yes, it might not be the first thing on the rack you go shopping for, but it is worth finding clothing that brings out a woman's beauty without revealing too much.


8 - Modesty attracts the kind of guys you ought to want to attract.
If a woman is afraid that she must turn a man's eye by dressing immodestly, then she should ask herself just what kind of guy does she want to attract?


7 - Mary dressed modestly.
Truly there is no more beautiful woman who ever lived than Mary. Why wouldn't any woman want to be more like her?


6 - It helps protect women.
A woman can still dress to be beautiful, but the mystery of a woman's body is protected from being used. Modesty provides a needed defense against usage.

But you'll need to head over to Aggie Catholics to read the rest.

"This is absolutely disturbing."

It's interesting that my reaction to this clip on Fox News is the words of one of the interviewees. First, let me explain ...

A police officer in Toronto, quoted as saying, "Women can avoid rape by not dressing like sluts" and subsequent "Slut walks" were the occasion for a little chat about modesty on Sean Hannity's program. All participants in the debate agreed that rape is never the fault of the victim. The question on the table, however, was whether or not women can reduce their risk of abuse and rape, and if so, whether or not choices in dress can be a factor.

The two women facing off were Tamara Holder, a Fox news contributor, who sported a plunging neckline and a rather angry demeanor. Rebecca St. James, well-known in Christian circles for her song, "Wait for Me," had a more conservative, though attractive, outfit, and seemed to be operating from a sphere of peacefulness and joy, which perhaps spoke louder than her words.

A couple of segments that found my mouth on the floor:

Rebecca St. James: "There has to be a responsibility for what the woman is wearing ... personal responsibility. [...] Purity and modesty go hand in hand. I think when a woman is dressing in an immodest way, a provocative way, she's got to think about what is she saying by her dress, because to a lot of guys -- and I just wrote another book about it called, What Is He Thinking, I interviewed these guys and they're saying ..."

Sean Hannity: "One of them is me."

Tamara Holder: "This is absolutely disturbing."

Later in the interview:

Rebecca St. James: "Tamara, I mean, what are women saying by dressing provocatively? I mean, I think they're saying, 'I'm easy. I'm asking you to look at me as a sexual object, rather than a woman worthy of respect.' And I think women who are marching and saying, 'I should be able to wear whatever I want' ..."

Tamara Holder: "There is nothing wrong with looking like a sexual object."

I suppose these words can only be truly horrifying to those who understand what they truly mean. In other words, Tamara Holder cannot possibly know what she is saying, or she could never say it. In effect, she would be saying, "I am not a woman. I am not a person. I am an animal, an object. I do not need to be loved or to love. There is nothing wrong with using me or with me using others." And the irony of this logic is that it undermines the first reason these two women were on the show -- to acknowledge that women should not be used, abused or raped. But to say, "There is nothing wrong with looking like a sexual object," is to say there is nothing wrong with being perceived as a sexual object, which is really to say there is nothing about my dignity as a human person that should preclude me from being treated like a sexual object.

Interestingly, I think the whole argument of whether or not rape is wrong stands on this ground -- am I an object or am I a person? If I am an object, then I can be used as a tool to satisfy someone else's desires. Likewise, I can use others as a means to an end. But if I am a person -- if I have gifts, talents, a history, a personality -- then I can only be treated with love. Nothing else befits my dignity. And therefore, rape, abuse or using of any sort can never be justified.

So maybe arguments about the necessity or not of modesty are much more integral to the question of how women should be treated than many will concede. If we look at modesty as a constricting command to hide inside a potato sack, then we aren't understanding the gift that it is. If we look at modesty, however, as an opportunity to radiate the truth of who we are in God's image and likeness, as a means of protecting the gift of ourselves and of inspiring love and respect, then modesty can only serve to further defend the incredible dignity of each human person -- never to be used, always to be loved.

Reflecting on skirts

Jennifer Fulwiler recently opined on the good of skirts, though she confesses to being (primarily) a "pants-wearing woman." As a (frequent) skirt-wearing woman, I found her reflections on the message of femininity communicated by (modest) skirts and dresses to be quite interesting. Here's a snippet:

A beautiful dress is a little inefficient. A colorful, flowy skirt is decidedly girly. Both draw a sharp line between the genders. Could we women proclaim some truths of the Faith in the public square with our wardrobe choices alone? Could we add something positive to the world by wearing pretty skirts? To someone with my background it sounds laughable at first, but this idea just might be more powerful than we think. To wear a skirt is to shout the messages that the Communists described in Jung Chang’s book once tried to suppress: that a full life isn’t all about efficiency and work; that men and women are different, and that’s okay; and that femininity is something to be celebrated, not squelched.

Read it all here.

Quote book

"All beauty comes from God, and should point our hearts back toward Him. As a woman, your task is to use this gift to draw the hearts of men toward God, while avoiding the temptation to distract them from Him. Your modesty is a 'ministry of beauty.' Or, in the words of one teenager, 'A woman should be so hidden in Christ that a man has to see Christ just to see her.'" -- Jason and Crystalina Evert in How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul

"Why do we let girls dress like that?"

The Wall Street Journal featured a recent column by Jennifer Moses about parents' permissiveness when it comes to their daughters' clothing choices.

But it's easy for parents to slip into denial. We wouldn't dream of dropping our
daughters off at college and saying: "Study hard and floss every night,
honey—and for heaven's sake, get laid!" But that's essentially what we're saying
by allowing them to dress the way they do while they're still living under our
own roofs.

Read it all here.

Quote book

"Our body is a cenacle, a monstrance: through its crystal the world should see God." -- St. Gianna Beretta Molla