The incredible value of one little life

30 Hours from Archdiocese of Denver on Vimeo.

True death with dignity

A Vatican conference from the comfort of your home

It isn't too often one has the opportunity to partake in a Vatican conference.  Fortunately, the event occurring right now -- the Humanum conference focusing on the complementarity of men and women -- is open to all of us.  The conference features the presentation of short films on a number of topics, followed by live witnesses and brief presentations from people of various faiths.  The short films and the presentations are available on the Humanum website and are being posted soon after they occur live in Rome.

Be sure to take a look ... and to be truly authentic, perhaps you'd like to watch with a cappuccino or gelato in hand.

Victims of the Lonely Revolution

With all of these depressing stories lately, it's time for some beauty. Anthony Esolen always writes with beauty, even if his subject matter is ugliness.

This time, he's penning about the Lonely Revolution (what we generally term the "sexual revolution) and its victims who are usually unmentioned. Victims like:

... children of divorce, who see their homes torn in two, because of a mother or a father who has shrugged away the vow of permanence. I see them straining to put a fine face on it, to protect the very parents who should have protected them, to squelch back their own tears so as not to hurt those who have hurt them. Who speaks for them, harried from pillar to post? Who pleads their case, whose parents conveniently assume that their children’s happiness must depend upon their own contentment, and not the other way around? Where is my Church’s apostolate for the children sawn in half, while the Solomons of our time looked the other way?

Or:

... the young people who do in fact follow the moral law and the teachings of the Church. Many of these are suffering intense loneliness. Have you bothered to notice? Have you considered all those young people who want to be married, who should be married, but who, because they will not play evil’s game, can find no one to marry? The girls who at age twenty-five and older have never even been asked on a date? The “men” languishing in a drawn-out adolescence? These people are among us; they are everywhere. Who gives them a passing thought? They are suffering for their faith, and no one cares. Do you care, leaders of my Church? Or do you not rather tacitly agree with their fellows who do the marital thing without being married? Do you not rather share that bemused contempt for the “old fashioned” purity they are trying to preserve?

It's a call to leaders of the Church, but really it's a call to all of us.  Read it all here, and say a prayer for those suffering from the Lonely Revolution.

An uncoupled, open "marriage's" biggest victim

 OK, so let's get this straight ... Clark and Valerie want to protect their son Jonah from divorce, so their solution is to host an "uncoupling ceremony" on a California beach, live in the same home together and date other people.  For Jonah.  

Apparently seeing Mom with her boyfriend ... or not seeing her while she spends "private time" with him at another location is not damaging.  And, I guess knowing that Dad doesn't want a third divorce but that Mom is keeping her options open doesn't hurt either.

What is it about divorce that is damaging for children?  A broken covenant, a love that has "ended," a break in fidelity ("if you promised to love Daddy forever and didn't, then do you really mean it when you tell me you will love me forever?), a turbulent, unknown rollercoaster where there should be a secure foundation.  

So, what about Jonah's situation is supposed to be different?  His parents are dating other people and divorce is still a viable option, at least for Valerie.  Clark doesn't want to get married a fourth time, but he has trouble convincing other women to see where their place will be in the relationship.  Apparently, Mom's boyfriend Joseph has no problems with greeting Valerie for a date ... and then Valerie's husband.  And apparently Jonah is "fine" with it.  Why would he say otherwise?  Does this little boy feel like weight of his parents' happiness is squarely on his shoulders?  And might be feel that he shouldn't say a word because this odd little arrangement is being done "for him"?

It's just so sad!  Who does "uncoupling" benefit?  It would seem it benefits no one.  In the end, while Clark and Valerie say they want what is best for Jonah, it would seem that this uncoupled, "open relationship" is hardest on Jonah.  Splashing in the waves together after returning wedding rings can't possibly convey the same security and love that lifelong fidelity (even if clearly sacrificial) could give a little boy who just wants (and deserves) to know authentic love. 

Cardinal Dolan on who we are

Cardinal Dolan has a gift for making seemingly overwhelming concepts make sense.  He recently took the phrase "image and likeness of God" and explained in the Our Sunday Visitor what this means for daily life.  As the late Fr. Richard Hogan liked to say, "You were made in the image and likeness of God.  Now act like it."

I invite us to see who we are: At the core of our being, each one of us has the identity of being a child of God, made in his image and likeness, redeemed by the precious blood of his Son, Jesus, and destined to enjoy eternity with him in heaven. That’s who we are. As Pope St. John Paul II taught, “being is more important than having and doing.”

It’s not just that I’m made in God’s image and likeness, but that every human person is as well, thus deserving dignity and respect. This is our belief in the Imago Dei (“Image of God”) central to Judeo-Christian revelation, cherished by other creeds as well.As Christians, however, we have to ensure that this truth of our faith doesn’t somehow make us the center of the world. There is a heavy stress today on individualism: my needs, my wants, my career, my sexual preferences, my convenience and my time are most important. But being made in the image and likeness of God means that God happens to be the center of the world!

If we properly understand who we are in God’s eyes, and in relation to other creatures and all of creation, we will sense that there are certain duties and obligations that simply flow from who we are.

Read the rest here.

A beautiful story of life, love and grace

Stories // David William from Church Project on Vimeo.

What to read about the Extraordinary Synod

Now that the Extraordinary Synod has come to a close (and we have another year to wait until the Ordinary Synod), there are plenty of articles circulating with commentaries, interviews and summaries of the event.  Here are a few that I have found particularly interesting:

- "Archbishop Kurtz on synod and next steps" (video)

- Fr. Raymond de Souza, "Never too late to listen to Pope Benedict XVI"

- Fr. Raymond de Souza, "Eleven Ways the Synod Failed Pope Francis' Vision"

- George Weigel, "An extraordinary Synod, indeed"

- Mark Brumley, "Synod Suprise"

A real life love story ... in Cincinnati

Despite depressing news headlines daily, there seems to be a rise in headlines announcing the death of couples married for decades, within hours of one another. The stories are always touching, but the most recent one to grab my attention is from a local couple -- Cincinnati natives Helen and Joe Auer. The two were married for 73 years ...

When Helen Auer died on Wednesday, she was sitting in her chair. Her husband of 73 years came into the room and knew right away. Joe leaned over, gave her a kiss goodbye, and whispered in her ear: “Helen, call me home.”

Just 28 hours later, Helen did. Joe Auer died at the age of 100. His children figured he could manage one night without her, but not two. Wednesday they will have a funeral mass in front of the same altar where they were married in 1941.

Read more of their beautiful story here.  Many more pictures of the couple are available through Meyer Funeral Home's site.

Looking toward the next Synod in 2015 ...

If I had five minutes to present at the Extraordinary Synod ...

Now I know that I am not, nor ever will be, an invited guest at the Synod.  There are married couples present in the discussions right now from around the world.  Most, if not all, of the couples have been married for decades and lead various marriage preparation or enrichment programs across the globe.  They have all been given a few minutes to speak to the Holy Father and the 200 or so bishops in attendance.  Their statements have also been disseminated to the public through the Vatican Press Office.

Knowing that I am not a national or world marriage leader, nor a veteran of a marriage spanning decades, as the Synod unfolds, there are still a few things I wish I could say -- that someone would say -- to the Synod fathers.  It would be something like this ...

Holy Father Pope Francis, Cardinals and Bishops of the world -- thank you for making marriage and the family such a priority that you are dedicating two Synods -- an "extraordinary" and an "ordinary" -- to these topics.  Thank you for wanting to bring the beautiful truth of these teachings to the world.  Thank you for recognizing the struggles and graces of family life and seeking to better understand so as to articulate the incredible identity of the family.

It is certainly no secret that marriage and the family are under great attack in our world.  This is manifested in differing ways by continent, country and region.  I believe, however, that all of these attacks have one thing at heart.  It is what St. John Paul II referred to in his encyclical letter, "Evangelium Vitae" as the "eclipse of the sense of God and of man."

The crisis of marriage and family is fundamentally, I believe, a crisis of anthropology.  We do not know who we are.  Formed strongly by the industrial, sexual and technological revolutions, we think we are what we do, the pleasure we obtain and the speed at which we can obtain objects and pleasure.  We, as a culture, as a world, are massively confused about what it means to be human; what love, freedom, sacrifice, truth, suffering, conscience, sexuality, our very bodies are and mean.  

It's a common misconception that the Church's "rules" are arbitrary and perhaps even vindictive sentences from a group of celibate men.  It is widely believed that Church teaching is not rooted in anything, is not valid or thoughtful or for our own good.  

This is what we need you to teach and preach and live and encourage.  The world needs to know that because of who we are -- and because of who God is -- we are called and invited to live accordingly.  We need to know that the Church doesn't give us arbitrary rules but a beautiful plan to be authentically human.  We need to know that openness to life isn't something we should grit our teeth and bear, but something we are blessed to receive.  We need to know that same-sex attraction doesn't make a person evil or undermine their dignity, but that same-sex sexual encounters cannot fulfill us.  We need to know that cohabitation isn't "test driving" commitment, but instead that we are capable of the radical risk of giving our life to our spouse.

We don't just need to hear about controversial teachings, though these are important.  We need to hear that marriage is a Sacrament, a vocation, a path to holiness.  We need to hear that marriage is a privileged way of revealing God's love to the world.  We need to hear the stories of married saints whose family life was heroically lived.  We need to hear Mass petitions for families.  We need to be sent forth with confidence that God's grace makes love possible.

We need to be challenged.  We live in a culture of mediocrity.  We are told consistently not to strive for higher things -- in fact, that we are incapable of higher things.  The Church is the lone voice stating confidently, "You are called to be more!"  This is a compliment, not an insult.  We need to hear it, to know it, to believe it.

We need mercy, yes, but we also need truth.  In fact, the two belong together.  To receive both of these, we need to know who we are.  And this brings us back to the beginning (literally, to the beginning of these thoughts and to the "beginning" of Genesis).  Holy Father, Cardinals and Bishops, you have been entrusted with so much goodness and beauty -- promoting and safeguarding the Catholic faith in the world today.  We need you to remind us of who we are, who the family is, who God is, and what He is calling each of us to live.  We don't need the truth to be watered down; we need it to be lovingly expressed.  

Please don't forget that the Church's teaching on marriage and family is beautiful.  What a gift to the world if you could remind us of that, encourage us to embrace that beauty and renew our confidence that this beauty is possible.  

A bucket list for an unborn baby

(If the video above does not show up, please click here.)

 Little Shane was born, baptized and welcomed home to heaven yesterday.

Expect joy

Where can we hear about the Extraordinary Synod?

Everyone is talking about it (or so it seems).  The Extraordinary Synod, which begins this weekend, is a topic making its rounds in newspapers, magazines, online commentaries, blogs and casual conversations.  To hear most people tell it, we'll be looking at a radically different Church in a couple of weeks, come the Synod's end.  For some, this is welcome news.  For others, Armageddon has arrived.

So with all of the controversies, conflict and confusion, where can we learn about what is going on in Rome?  There isn't going to be a CSPAN channel dedicated to bringing us the proceedings live from the Vatican.  We won't be permitted to listen live via iTunes.  Where can we hear something of the Synod that isn't a manipulation of the truth?  How will we know what is happening?

That's the question that's been on my mind of late, and one that was answered (at least in part) this afternoon.  I came across Archbishop Joseph Kurt's latest blog post, which mentioned his arrival in Rome and his thoughts on the upcoming Extraordinary Synod.

Here, in part, is what he said:

Of course this is the week of preparation for the Synod on the Family. The formal beginning of the Synod is on Sunday, with Mass celebrated by Pope Francis. I have come to Rome with great support and insights from many and with the rich tradition of Church teaching. I have three intentions, which I brought to the altar this morning:

- To appreciate the beauty of marriage, family, and the vision of sexuality given by Sacred Scripture and Church teaching.

- To restore the confidence of the faithful in their ability to form and sustain Christian families.

- To respond to the great need to walk with – to accompany as Pope Francis has said so often – those families who struggle and whose wounds need healing.

(See more at: http://www.archlou.org/2014/09/30/synod-blog-september-30-2014/#sthash.RgrG2lVr.dpuf) 

That clarity and simplicity assured me that Archbishop Kurtz's daily blogging from Rome about the Synod will be the place to turn for information.  Sure, it might not detail what Cardinal Kasper just said or which position Pope Francis seems to be advocating.  There won't be play-by-plays available.  But Archbishop Kurtz, as a passionate defender and promoter of the family will bring his love of the family into his reflections about what is occurring, and perhaps we will catch a glimpse of how the family is served at the Extraordinary Synod.  

To read Archbishop Kurtz's blog reports about the Extraordinary Synod, click here.

Happy feast day of St. Maximilian Kolbe!

When we began Kenosis: Teen Disciples for Love and Life five years ago, one of our early meetings centered on choosing two patron saints for the group.  Each of the high school students was asked to report on a particular saint, mostly young saints or those from the 20th century.  The teens then voted on which two they would like to see as our patrons.  And so St. Maximilian Kolbe and Bl. Chiara "Luce" Badano became the patron and patroness of Kenosis.  

St. Maximilian Kolbe has been called a martyr for the family because he offered his life for one particular family.  He offered his priestly fatherhood so that another man could continue to live his vocation as husband and father.  

Today is St. Maximilan Kolbe's feast day, and Deacon Greg Kandra has a great link to the biography of the man he died to save, Franciszek Gajowniczek.  He lived to be 93 -- 53 years after St. Maximilian Kolbe saved his life.  

Learn more about him here.

A great post for NFP Awareness Week

Update: The link now works!

What I should do is share my own post for NFP Awareness Week, but with the likelihood that I will not have time to pen my thoughts before the week is out, I want to share this post by Rita Buettner, which beautifully articulates why NFP is not birth control ... in fact, that it's not about being "in control" at all.

NFP says to God, "We recognize that we are not in control. We are going to do the best we can to make what we feel are the best decisions for our family, but we are also leaving this in Your hands. You are the giver of life, the One who knows better than we do what we can handle, what lies ahead, what plans you have for us."

NFP says, "Jesus, we place our trust in You. And we will be grateful for any gift you give, especially the gift of life."

God sent our children to us in a different way. And we endured years of infertility before we started down the road to adoption.

- See how God worked in the Buettners' lives here: http://www.catholicreview.org/blogs/open-window/2014/07/23/nfp-is-not-just-birth-control-how-infertility-deepened-my-appreciation-for-natural-family-planning#sthash.CiyEaStq.dpuf

What's going to happen at the Extraordinary Synod in October?

With all of the recent hype and speculation about the upcoming Extraordinary Synod on the Family, you would think the doctrines of the Catholic Church are about to change. Reading the just-released "Instrumentum Laboris" -- a summary of the world's bishops' reflections on the status of marriage and the family today -- gives a different picture. Here's my take at Aleteia.

Just to get you started:

The world’s bishops have taken stock of today’s cultural landscape with respect to marriage and the family and have found a serious lack of understanding–and therefore, living–of the Church’s teaching. It comes as no surprise to those in the trenches, (or even to those who just pick up a newspaper occasionally). We’ve all seen headlines about the legalization of same-sex “marriage.” We’ve all observed a blasé attitude toward marriage among family, friends, neighbors or colleagues, attitudes that non-judgmentally condone contraception, cohabitation and divorce. But for the Church’s hierarchy to acknowledge the difference between the faith and how it’s lived is an important admission. 

There are plenty of questions regarding who might be to blame–Are parents catechizing their children? Were the parents ever formed? Are priests preaching or advising properly in confession? Are bishops promoting defense of the family as a priority? Are marriage preparation programs adequate?


The tone of the document, however, is not to find a scapegoat; it is to acknowledge that something must be done. The victims of our marriage-destructive culture are many and are identified in the document–children of divorce, single mothers, spouses remaining faithful to wedding vows though separated, abused women and children, those living in canonically irregular situations and so forth. The document reveals that the bishops are aware of the grave challenges now facing the world and of the way these challenges converge and relate to the family, the fundamental cell of society.

Read the rest here.

Divorce parties and family photographs

A divorce can bring a variety of reactions, depending upon each person affected, one's attitude toward marriage and the situation at hand.  In a Marriage in the News column I recently wrote for the USCCB's "For Your Marriage" site, I focus on the contrast between lavish "divorce parties" and an adult child of divorce who isn't sure the best way to handle childhood family photographs.  Read about it here.

"I said my vows to a person, not a computer program"

I'm not a daily Matt Walsh reader, but when his articles have been passed my way, I often find myself shaking my head in agreement.  This one really hits the nail on the head.  It's a response to the divorce-friendly culture, the oft-heard excuse, "My spouse changed."  It's one man's fierce loyalty to a person and to an institution, a Sacrament, a place that has the spouses instead of the spouses having "it."  

So, Matt Walsh has a few things to say on the subject.  To get you started:

“People sometimes change,” says the wise sage.

No, people always change. They never stop changing. Life is change. 

Everything is moving, everything is transforming. Everything is changing, all of the time. Life is more of a river than a stagnant, mosquito-infested puddle.

(Dear Lord, look at what this guy has done. He’s got me so worked up that I’m speaking in country-pop lyrics. “Life is a river.” God help me.)

The fact is that you can leave the room for ten seconds, come back, and everything will be slightly different. That’s true of the furniture, the curtains, the carpet, and yes, the people. Especially the people.

Divorcing someone because they change? You might as well divorce them because they breathe.

I’m not making light of it. I know that sometimes people change in a painful and inconvenient manner. I know that my wife could change in ways that don’t cooperate with my projections of how she should be and feel and think.

I guess that’s what people really mean when they say they want a divorce because their spouse “changed.” It’s not change itself they oppose, but changes that challenge them and make them uncomfortable. What they should say is: “I want a divorce because she changed in a way that doesn’t fit inside my comfort zone.”

It’s hard, I know. Every day I’m relearning this one basic truth: my wife has her own brain, her own feelings, her own soul. We are linked now through the bond of matrimony, but she is still her and I am still me. She is a force, a hurricane, a wildfire. She is not a puppet dancing on a string. She is a self — her own self — powerful and mysterious.

Read more at http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/05/29/wifepersonmarried/#9VscMhc3Bwpd6ksE.99.   

Social Media Guard

This Coca-Cola commercial is a surprisingly eloquent (and humorous) commentary on our proclivity to live anti-social, social media driven lives.



Now, if only the Social Media Guard were real!  (And does anyone else find it ironic that the Social Media Guard looks a lot like the "cone of shame" in the movie "Up"?)