Vocational Discernment 101

Just last night I was having a conversation about vocations discernment in which I recalled the words of Matt Maher during a concert at Franciscan University ten years ago. He said, "Sometimes people make finding their vocation their god." It becomes this all-encompassing thing to obsess over and spend every waking moment contemplating.

Exhibit A: "An attractive guy/girl sat in front me during Mass today. Maybe I'm called to marriage! Or, maybe it was an invitation from God to give up this good for the greater good of priesthood/religious life."

So, it was rather good timing that The Culture Project reposted an article from July entitled, "Your Vocation is Not About You." Benjamin Mann has some thought-provoking insights into how we view our vocation (whether in the future or the present).

Our expectations are wrong. Consciously or not, we sometimes expect a vocation to solve all of our problems, answer all of our questions, and satisfy all of our desires. But these are not the purposes of a vocation. Discernment, likewise, does not consist in finding the choice that will meet those expectations.

Your vocation will not live up to these unrealistic hopes. Nothing in this world will answer all your questions, solve all your problems, or satisfy all your desires. These are impossible, immature ambitions, and the spiritual life consists largely in realizing that they are impossible and immature.

The purpose of life is the unitive devotional service of God, which includes the love of our neighbor (in whom God dwells). This is the real purpose of any vocation. Some forms of life, such as monasticism, are ordered directly to this end; other states of life are oriented toward it indirectly. But these are only different versions of the one human vocation: to love and serve God, and become one with him in Christ.

A vocation – any vocation – is a school of charity and a means of crucifixion. Your vocation is the means by which your self-serving ego will die in order to be resurrected as the servant and lover of God. This is all that we can expect; but this is everything – the meaning of life, all there really is.

My vocation is where I will learn to let go of my questions, carry the cross of my problems, and be mysteriously fulfilled even when I am not happy. We have some choice as to how we will undergo that process; we do not – so long as we abide in the grace of God – get to choose whether we will undergo it.

Read it all here.

Why I don't like the Sr. Cristina phenomenon

From the first video of Sr. Cristina Scuccia's appearance on Italy's "The Voice," I felt uncomfortable. The entire Catholic world seemed to be lauding her witness, while I felt something I could not quite pinpoint that just didn't feel right. I spoke to a couple of friends who generally share similar views as me, but both seemed to think it was a great moment of evangelization.

So, I stayed silent as the Sr. Cristina videos increased and the YouTube hits climbed into the millions. In some ways, Sr. Cristina was becoming the new "poster child" for the New Evangelization. Everyone was talking about her.

The "singing nun" sensation grew this week with Sr. Cristina's release of the first song on her album, a cover of Madonna's "Like a Virgin."

My adverse reaction continued, maybe even grew. But she reclaimed/redeemed/renewed what Madonna did 30 years ago, the headlines read. Still, I could barely bring myself to click on the video, and when I did I did not walk away convinced.

Finally, this morning I came across the first criticism I've seen. Barbara Nicolosi was interviewed by the Catholic News Agency and is quite vocal in her disagreement with Sr. Cristina's musical choices.

© MARCO BERTORELLO / AFP

Barbara Nicolosi, a Hollywood screenwriter and Catholic cultural commentator, suggested that Sister Cristina Scuccia’s choice of Madonna’s risqué song “reflects the lack of thought, seriousness and decorum that is predictable of so much of our societal and ecclesial life today.”

Sr. Cristina, an Ursuline nun, in early June won first place on the musical competition TV show The Voice Italy. She has now released a cover of the 1984 Madonna song as the first single of her new album.

Nicolosi noted the original song’s music video and its use of Catholic imagery was “widely condemned” among Catholics.

“It was clear that Madonna was ridiculing the Church’s reverence for the Blessed Virgin and so many lay people and clergy came out to speak against Madonna and the piece,” Nicolosi told CNA Oct. 22.

“That's another reason why this is a weird piece for a Catholic nun to try and repurpose.”

Nicolosi has plenty more to say here.

The piece confirmed some of my own misgivings, though we might have some different reasons behind our dislike of the pop music-singing nun phenomenon.  I think what bothers me in large part is two-fold.

First, the new evangelization seems to be confused with relevancy, and relevancy with modernity.  If it doesn't utilize the latest "thing" -- technology, slang, hit movie/music/television show, graphics, etc. -- then it isn't "relevant."  So we preach the Gospel by making T-shirts that look like secular T-shirts ... only ours have a Catholic message.  And we use the latest songs, but we change the lyrics.  We find the hit movie and redesign the poster.  And because the secular versions of these things are "cool" (although, I know the word itself is no longer "cool"), we hope that people will see the "Catholic" versions and jump on board.

Secondly, and somewhat related, a religious sister is one who is "set apart."  She is the bride of Christ in a unique way.  There is something mysterious about that, and it should be mysterious. In fact, I would argue that the mystery is intriguing and attractive to people who might not be regular church-goers.  "Here is something different," they might say.  "I want to learn more."

A religious sister is an icon of heaven.  I certainly hope we are not signing Alicia Keys and Madonna songs for eternity.  If a sister is "set apart" and a sign of heaven, then she has a unique gift to point our minds and hearts heavenward.  We should see this "something different" and be captivated.  We should see the joy and the love and the beauty and be pointed to God.

But, at least it seems to me, many of the people who were so intrigued by Sr. Cristina's appearance on "The Voice" were more entranced by the idea that a "Catholic nun" could sing or be on television or do something other than pray.  What different reaction might Sr. Cristina's rendition of "Girls just want to have fun" inspire versus the Sisters of Mary Mother of the Eucharist's "Mater Eucharastiae" CD?  Sure, Sr. Cristina has a powerful voice, but is "Girls just want to have fun" really intrinsically beautiful?  

Is it appropriate for one who is especially chosen in love as the bride of Christ to become some sort of commodity for the world who wants to be shocked and titillated by a habited woman who sings?  Yes, there are religious communities who have recorded CDs, but there seems to be a difference.  These CDs and television appearances are an invitation into a hidden life -- an opportunity to catch a rare glimpse of women who are praying and singing.  Sr. Cristina gave a performance, and though she may have been praying while she was singing, no one would necessarily know that based on the songs, style and way of performing.  

MARCO BERTORELLO/AFP/GETTY IMAGES

One might argue that Sr. Cristina's music will be more popular because it is pop music, but lest anyone forget, chanting nuns and monks' CDs have shot to the top of the charts in recent years, dumbfounding many people.  There is something captivating about the music, the prayer, the witness that people find themselves listening to and then downloading and purchasing and playing.  They find it peaceful or inspiring or beautiful.

And beauty is a form of evangelization that we desperately need in an ugly world.

We certainly don't lack for performers in our culture.  We have any number of television shows to watch with singing competitions.  In that, Sr. Cristina became one among many -- another singer, another performer ... this one who happened to be a sister.  As a culture, I don't think we need a "Catholic" version of today's songs.  I think we need to be invited into something more, something beautiful.

Several years ago I was listening to another round of the age-old youth ministry battle -- Should those who serve the youth watch all of the latest movies, listen to the latest music and immerse themselves in the latest everything so as to be relatable?  Common thought is, "Yes."  But in this particular conversation, one young woman said she thought differently.  "These kids are surrounded by people who watch all of the movies and the shows and listen to the music," she said.  "And we tell them not to watch certain shows or listen to certain songs because they are bad influences.  Then we watch them.  What these kids need to know is ... 'I didn't watch that movie or listen to that song, and it's okay not to watch these things.  Not everyone is seeing this movie or listening to this music.  That itself is an invaluable witness.'"

Her thoughts struck me and have resonated with me even 8 years later.  The world needs witnesses who in not "keeping up" with all of the latest fads are actually saying it's possible to live differently and it's worth living differently.  I don't need to watch MTV to know that a young person needs to encounter Love.

So, in summary, after such a long post (!), I certainly respect Sr. Cristina's desire to spread the Gospel and to share her talents.  She has certainly been vocal about her desire to evangelize, and has been a witness in her decision to renew temporary vows when some women might have jumped for the chance of fame and fortune.

But every time I see a video of her clutching the microphone like a pop star or diva, I cringe a little. I cringe because it seems to me the songs and style are not becoming of a sister, are not worthy of a sister.  I cringe because I want to see something truly, counterculturally different when I see a religious sister.  I want the world to know that the Church has her own unique, beautiful gifts to offer -- not just covers and replays.  In seeing one who is "set apart," people's hearts can truly be captivated and brought to Something More.  Meeting people where they are doesn't have to be synonymous with catering to the lowest common denominator.  The world needs to be invited above.  A lay person might be called to do this by being "in the world" (not of it), but it seems that those who are consecrated are called to a different form of fostering encounters with Christ.  

And that's why the world may be pressing the "Share" button with every new Sr. Cristina release, but I just can't jump on board.

The Imagine Sisters Movement

Bad Catholic shared this awesome video the other day, and it's worth posting here too. What a beautiful opportunity for young Catholics to catch a glimpse of the joy and peace of religious vocations.

Vocations stories

Speaking of vocations (of the priestly and religious variety), check out Cincinnati Vocations for some wonderful stories from those who are living or are discerning these particular ways of growing in holiness.

Vocations Awareness Week, part 4

In the final reflection during this week dedicated to vocations awareness, I wanted to say a word of thanks. How in the world is anyone supposed to embrace a life given wholly and irrevocably to the Lord without witnesses of joyful, peaceful, grateful fiats to the particular vocation which God entrusted to them? Vocations awareness is provided most profoundly by the silent eloquence of others who are living their vocation.

- Of the priest who spends every morning in the wooden confessional, praying for his penitents and offering them God's mercy through the sacrament.

- Of the wife and mother who struggles patiently with her two-year-old at daily Mass, wanting to receive love so she can give it.

- Of the religious sister who comforts another, giving advice, quietly listening and promising prayers.

- Of the husband and father who teaches his children how to pray, blesses them every night and wraps his family in prayer, even when he'd rather put up his feet and doze behind the opened newspaper.

Thank you to all those who have embraced their vocation, who time and again recommit to living more fully what the Lord has asked. Thank you to all who, whether they have yet found a concrete state of life from which to do this, respond to the universal call to holiness and witness to God's love in the simplest ways, often without realizing they are doing so.

Thank you especially to the priests who bring us the Eucharist, mercy in confession, a witness of fatherhood and of the love of Christ who gave everything to and for His Church. A priest's vocation is at the service of all of us. But we stand in gratitude and humility for their gift.

Vocations Awareness Week, part 3

In our continued conversation this week about the nature of vocations, it seems appropriate to consider the question of vocations promotion. A major problem today seems to be that of continuity. We often consider that we can live our lives any way we choose and then miraculously be struck by a heretofore everlasting spirit of selflessness and generosity, which will result in our embracing a vocation and properly living our vocation for the rest of our lives.

It's not quite the case.

In "Familiaris Consortio," John Paul II said that we need to have remote, proximate and immediate marriage preparation. Proper marriage preparation cannot be squeezed into six brief months. Rather, it begins at birth. The same would be true of a vocation to priesthood and the religious life. If this is the case, then rather than approach the topic of preparation for one vocation or another on two different planes, perhaps we should approach them like a "Y." The same formation continues through childhood and adolescence and eventually branches into one particular preparation or another.

If our specific vocation springs from our universal vocation to love -- which we receive upon our first moment of existence -- then our specific vocation preparation should begin from Day 1 as well. This preparation is always a training in love. It is further specified as we discern, realize and receive the way in which God calls us to love.

How can we begin from Day 1?

• Awareness of being a child of God

• Desires as a prayer (hungry, tired, etc.)

• Receiving, not grasping

• Love = willing the good of the other

• Modesty = body is good, so we treat it as a treasure

• Priests/religious as a sign of heaven

• Marriage as a sign of God’s love

• Praying for priests/consecrated/married people

• Sexuality as a precious gift

• Language of the body

• Beauty = reflection of God’s love

• Prayer as communication with God in which God shares His life with us and leads us on a path to Him in heaven.

• Crucifix as a reminder of real love

• Suffering – “offer it up” as fertilizer for seeds planted by God.

If we want to pray for vocations -- which is a very good thing to do! -- we musn't sit back and wait for the Fairy Vocations Godmother to wave a magic wand and turn random people into faith-loving, Gospel-sharing, God's love-reflecting priests, religious and married couples. Rather, the pray for vocations must accompany a commitment to assisting others in receiving their call from God from the first moment of life.

Vocations Awareness Week, part 2

Yesterday I said a few words about the confusion of the definition of "vocation" and that we rarely hear the word ascribed to those called to marriage. Today I'd like to continue the topic in light of this Vocations Awareness Week by looking at how we define vocation.

We were created in and through love for love. Our body is called to love and we return this gift by giving a total gift of self in love. There are two ways of irrevocably giving self – marriage and consecrated life.

John Paul II summarized in Familiaris Consortio #11:

God created man in His own image and likeness: calling him to existence through love, He called him at the same time for love. God is love and in Himself He lives a mystery of personal loving communion. Creating the human race in His own image and continually keeping it in being, God inscribed in the humanity of man and woman the vocation, and thus the capacity and responsibility, of love and communion. Love is therefore the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being.[…] Christian revelation recognizes two specific ways of realizing the vocation of the human person in its entirety, to love: marriage and virginity or celibacy. Either one is, in its own proper form, an actuation of the most profound truth of man, of his being "created in the image of God."

Our whole life should be a training to love – in heaven we will give/receive love eternally. Our vocation is the particular way in which God calls us to learn to love Him. A vocation, therefore, isn't something we grasp for or determine ourselves. It requires listening, patience, discerning in prayer so we can receive all that the Lord has for us.

If our whole life is a training to love, and we do that in a guided way through a vocation, then we should be preparing for our vocation from Day 1. We aren't waiting for life to begin the moment we make vows, whether as priests, consecrated or married. We begin learning to love and are eventually called to further specify the way in which we love through our total and forever gift to God.

I once heard Matt Maher give some excellent advice: Don't make finding your vocation your God. He said we are often so intent on finding our vocation that we lose sight of the Vocation-Giver. Many singles place so much emphasis, focus and stress on their future vocation that rather than preparing themselves to receive God’s love and to love Him in return, they are training themselves (ironically) to be self-focused, to grasp instead of to receive.

When we pray for vocations, we need to pray for openness in discernment, for the ability to hear God clearly, for the conviction to act upon the call He gives. Once again, this is a thought often reserved for those called to priesthood and religious life. Yet, those preparing for or discerning marriage also need to receive the call in patience, trust, openness, surrender and discernment. If this is the beginning for both vocations, both states of life can blossom more fully in the soil of God's love.

"Deception in Discernment"

Br. Gabriel Torretta, OP, has some excellent insights into the nature of discernment in his recent piece in "Dominicana."

See what I mean?

Vocation is not a shell game in which I have to outwit God and find the perfect life He has hidden among all the options in the world. Vocation is a call of love to love. God moves our hearts to love Him, to answer the one, universal call to holiness. The Christian’s task is to respond to that love concretely with the complete gift of himself. To give himself utterly, he needs the honesty, generosity, wisdom, and prudence that come from God, for which he must pray. Then, when his heart burns with a specific desire to love God with this woman, or this religious order, or in this diocese, then he decides and commits himself irrevocably into God’s hands. This is the mystery of vocation. This is the mystery of love.

Read it all here.

How does contraception affect vocations?

It might not be as simply obvious as it seems.

For instance:

Now, because of artificial contraception, the whole underlying assumptions and expectations about marriage have shifted. Marriage is no longer a way to give all, but a way to have it all. Therefore, when a young person today considers a religious vocation, they are not choosing between different paths of self-sacrifice; they are choosing between a life that seems to have it all and a life that seems to have nothing. They must choose between a home in the suburbs, 2.5 nice children, and a double income or total self denial. The choice is between a familiar form of hedonism or an inexplicable form of heroism.

Read a fascinating look at the topic by Fr. Dwight Longenecker here.

It's that time of year ...

It's Wednesday. We all know it as the middle of the week. But in this particular week, I find myself in between an ordination and a wedding. Last Saturday, I was sitting at the cathedral in Cincinnati, witnessing the ordination of three new priests. On this coming Saturday, I will be sitting at a parish outside of the nation's capital, witnessing the marriage of two friends and fellow graduate school alumni.

'Tis the season for ordinations and weddings, yet having these two events within one week of each other highlights their complementarity. We often think of priesthood and religious life as the only path to holiness, and marriage as the path for those who aren't selfless enough to give their entire being to God. But both priesthood/religious life and marriage are paths to holiness. Both are invitations to give of oneself -- totally and forever -- to God. Both are concrete manifestations of our universal vocation to love.

And how often do we sit in the pew at a wedding or at an ordination and ponder the incredible gift of witnessing these irrevocable vows to reflect God's love to the world? We are present in a moment that is the height of receiving one's life as a gift from God and responding with the gift of oneself. And if it's true that "man cannot find himself except in a sincere gift of self" (Gaudium et Spes #24), then we are witnessing a moment of profound self-realization before God and others.

So as we survey the landscape of the middle of the week, I'm grateful to have the opportunity to contemplate the gift of those whose lives -- either by their vows of obedience and celibacy (and poverty, if in the religious life) or by their vows of "till death do us part" -- are reflecting God's total and forever love for us. Thank God for the gift of priesthood, religious life and marriage, and the ways in which they complement one another in revealing the incredible love God has for us as our origin and destiny.

Sr. Miriam James Heidland's story

Last weekend I was blessed to present at the Southeast Missouri State University's campus ministry-sponsored "Capture My Heart" womanhood retreat. Sr. Miriam James Heidland, SOLT, was also presenting. She gave two beautiful talks -- "The Beauty Wound" and "Healing in the Blessed Mother." You can watch her powerful conversion story below:

First Oprah, then NPR

The Dominicans are enjoying opportunities to share their joy of religious life through radio and television. The Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist (Ann Arbor, MI) have appeared on Oprah twice. Now the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia (Nashville, TN) had an appearance on NPR. You can read the article and listen to the show here. The article features great interviews with several sisters and some of their students in Nashville.

One quote: "I met the person for me. I've been known by him forever. And I've known him more or less throughout my life. And now I know that this is where I'm called to." -- Sr. Beatrice Clark, OP

Q's from HS series

Fr. Kyle Schnippel, always eager to reach the young people of the Archdiocese of Cincinnati, has launched a new feature on the Cincinnati Vocations website: Q's from the HS. Periodically, Fr. Kyle will answer questions submitted by high school students regarding priesthood and religious life. So far, he has covered "Why can't women be priests?" "Is it hard giving up women?" and "Do you get to 'hang out' with friends?"

I'm looking forward to reading future questions in the series.

Dominican sisters on Oprah

While the live portion of last week's Oprah episode with the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist is not yet available, make sure to check out the taped segments on the Sisters' website. It is absolutely unbelievable how eloquently the sisters are able to articulate their joy and peace in only a few minutes of video.

Yes, I'm suggesting you watch Oprah

Set your DVRs to record Oprah on Tuesday, November 23. The Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist in Ann Arbor are back for a second appearance on the program. Not only does this indicate that their first show, which aired in February 2010, was well-received, but it is also impressive, considering the television program will air its last episode in May 2011 and guests are scrambling to book appearances before it's too late. In this case, the Sisters didn't call Oprah; she called them.

You can read more from the Sisters on their website.

Last time the Dominican Sisters shared the Gospel on Oprah, I shared my reflections in an article on Catholic Exchange. As a Theology of the Body educator, I found the Sisters' articulation of TOB throughout their interview to be outstanding. Let's pray for more hearts to be touched by their Tuesday appearance.