Marry someone who will suffer with you ...

Sometime around the 1,000 post on Unshakeable Hope, the combination of other writing projects for Ruah Woods, a busy schedule and the third trimester of pregnancy led to a major decline in daily blog posting. Actually, more than a decline, blog writing has completely disappeared during the last month. But I had to pop over to share this thought-provoking guest post by John Janaro on Arleen Spenceley's blog.


So much of marriage advice is the same -- go out on regular dates with one another, give 100% (not 50/50), pray together, etc. These are certainly important things to hear, but John Janaro's reflections on the wedding vows bring a refreshing and challenging perspective that we don't often hear. For example:

"Sickness and health...." Most healthy young people barely think about these words when they say them. This is not about chicken soup and colds. People can get really sick. Spouses have to be primary caregivers. If you're a woman, you will have health issues that your husband won't understand. If the husband becomes disabled and can't work, he will be emotionally shattered in a way that he will have difficulty communicating to his wife, or even admitting to himself. Disability is something we've learned a lot about in our marriage. But everyone faces health problems. If nothing else, people get older and they change physically and emotionally. And they suffer. It's important to marry someone who will suffer with you, and with whom you are willing to suffer. There's nothing "romantic" about the daily, ordinary, often banal suffering that you will have to share. But it's there that your love grows as trust, commitment, and fidelity. But this is not a cold thing. A real and deep affection is born within this love. You begin to see the other person more deeply.

You can read the rest at Arleen Spenceley's blog here.