Saturday, October 15, 2011

An inside look at cohabitation

An anonymous writer penned her thoughts in Great Britain about her decision to cohabit for a decade. It's a fascinating, heart-wrenching account of regret over lack of commitment.

Here's a start:

In that regard, we were like an increasing number of middle-class couples who co-habit, have children and see no reason to formalise their shared commitment to a lifelong future with a wedding ceremony.

And yet, it seems it wasn’t enough. Because despite all those years together, and all those children, David and I are now in the process of splitting up. We are divorcing without ever having married.

There is no one else involved; just a general growing apart. The reasons are many, from his feelings of being unloved to mine of being under-supported. He says I don’t respect him. And I think he’s probably right.

So now he has moved out. The day he left was the saddest of my life. I wanted to reach out to him, as he got into his car, and tell him everything would be OK — but I couldn’t. Which left me wondering: how has it come to this? How can we be taking apart something we spent so many years putting together?

And herein lies an uncomfortable thought. While it pains me to say so, I can’t help thinking that our situation might have been different if we’d got married.

For years, I told myself — and others — that marriage for me was just a word, a formality, and that David and I were as close as any married couple. Now I’m not so sure. Maybe, if we had made a proper commitment in front of our friends and loved ones, if we had said those binding, meaningful words, we might not be in this situation.


Read the entire account here.

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