Unshakeable Hope

A mother saves her sons' lives in recent tornado

2012-03-06T17:09:00.002-05:00

A witness of the radicality of the gift of self in motherhood:

Quote book

2012-03-05T10:39:00.002-05:00

"The greatest expression of freedom is not the search for pleasure without ever coming to a real decision; this apparent, permanent openness seems to be the realization of freedom, but it is not true. The true expression of freedom is the capacity to choose a definitive gift in which freedom, in being given is fully rediscovered." -- Pope Benedict XVI

What do you want to be when you grow up?

2012-03-03T09:05:00.000-05:00

Jennifer Fulwiler wants to stop asking children what they want to be when they grow up. Why?

Because the expected answer to this question is always a type of job, it reinforces the idea that the way to find identity and value is through career. Our society is already saturated with messages that the title on your business card is directly connected to your worth as a human being. When kids are bombarded by the questions about which job they’ll eventually hold, it trains them to view adult life through the lens of their place in the workforce.

Read more. It's a an excellent point to ponder.

Prayers please

2012-03-02T10:02:00.000-05:00

May I ask for your prayers for St. Gertrude's youth group retreat this weekend? Courtney Brown and I are providing the talks for the weekend. It's a great group of about 60 teens. Please pray for their continued openness, and the grace of all those presenting and serving this weekend to be open to the way which the Lord wishes to speak.

Thank you!

The theology of Mary Poppins

2012-03-01T08:47:00.000-05:00

This is quite brilliant. I haven't had the opportunity to read it all (it is massive!) but the "Vestal Morons" blog has an interesting look at the movie "Mary Poppins" from a Catholic perspective. Ever thought of Mary Poppins as a symbol of the Blessed Mother? Bert as St. Joseph? "A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down" as a treatise on grace and suffering?

Well, read away!

It makes me want to watch "Mary Poppins" again, which I haven't done in a very long time.

"Hear Our Prayer"

2012-02-29T09:05:00.001-05:00

I can relate to Elizabeth Hoxie's frustration with the common attitude toward the forgotten vocation -- marriage.

Don’t get me wrong. We love priests and religious. Our wedding was concelebrated by five priests and served by two of our Benedictine monk buddies. We named our firstborn Peter Melchizedek (yes, really). Our son will be unable to spell his name and fail out of kindergarten because his parents love the priesthood just that much.

We pray earnestly for an increase in vocations to the priesthood and religious life every week at Mass, and we sincerely hope God will answer our prayers. At the back of our minds though we wonder, what about us? What about the millions of Catholics whom God has called to the Sacrament of Matrimony?

In marriage there is no superior looking out for your spiritual well-being, no bells to call you to prayer or habit to set you apart from the world. You are in the trenches, back to back with your spouse, fighting the war against evil. In the daily rhythm of ora et labora, our ora is half a Hail Mary snatched between dirty dishes and dirty diapers. Our labora is the thousand seemingly insignificant ways we choose to die to ourselves to love each other — an exhausting work which the world finds laughable.

Read the whole piece here.

The real couple of "The Vow"

2012-02-28T11:50:00.002-05:00

There's been a lot of talk recently about the new film, "The Vow." I haven't seen it and have no commentary to offer about the film itself, but I enjoyed reading this interview with the couple on whom the story is based. In real life, they say, their story is inseparable from their faith.

The recent Hollywood film is based on Kim and Krickitt's real-life struggle to stay faithful to their vows after a 1993 car accident just weeks into their marriage left Krickitt with no recollection of meeting, falling in love with, or marrying her husband.

Despite her memory-loss, Carpenter said she chose to love her husband “based on obedience to God” and not her feelings, “because the feelings had been completely wiped away.”

“We made a vow before God,” she told CNA on Feb. 27, “so I chose to love him.”

“I hadn't read in the word of God that you can divorce over a head injury,” Carpenter joked, adding that she decided to make the best of her situation and “get to know this man that I was married to.”

Read it all here.

Quote book

2012-02-26T09:14:00.001-05:00

“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.” -- C.S. Lewis

Meet the world's longest married couple

2012-02-25T10:23:00.003-05:00

Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher have been married for 85 years. On Valentine's Day, they shared advice about marriage to questions asked via twitter.

Questions like:

12. At the end of bad relationship day, what is the most important thing to remind yourselves?

"Remember marriage is not a contest – never keep a score. God has put the two of you together on the same team to win."

Read them all here. What a beautiful witness!

All the ladies ...

2012-02-24T09:43:00.000-05:00

Check out this petition organized by Helen Alvare to allow women who disagree with the new HHS mandate to speak for themselves. As a non-contracepting woman, it is quite insulting to have the government insist that 98% of women are using contraception and loving it. As a friend mentioned he had remarked to his housemate the other day, "Do we know all of the women in the 2%?" It seems a very, very misleading statistic.

But enough of that rant! Please consider signing the petition here. It's a joy just to read the names on the list thus far.

Prayer request

2012-02-23T08:17:00.001-05:00

I received this prayer request from Bryan Kemper about a Franciscan University of Steubenville student, very active in the pro-life movement for years, who has been given a few months left to live with leukemia. Please read his story and pray for Neal and his family.

Pope Benedict on Ash Wednesday

2012-02-22T11:41:00.000-05:00

"In these forty days may we draw nearer to the Lord by meditating on his word and example, and conquer the desert of our spiritual aridity, selfishness and materialism. For the whole Church may this Lent be a time of grace in which God leads us, in union with the crucified and risen Lord, through the experience of the desert to the joy and hope brought by Easter."

Eight lessons of pregnancy

2012-02-21T11:41:00.002-05:00

Simcha Fisher has a wonderful list of lessons for everyone (yes, men, women, young and old) to learn from pregnancy. It's a great list, including:

2. You’re eating for two. A pregnant woman’s body is linked directly to her unborn child’s body: for better or worse, almost everything she takes in goes right to the little one. Guess what? There are no private acts of selfishness for anyone who is a member of the Body of Christ. Every poison we allow ourselves to ingest—pornography, gossip, habits of nastiness and mediocrity—they all hurt the most vulnerable members. Likewise, every wholesome and nourishing thing—acts of love, patient words, works of charity—these build up the weaker members and make the whole body stronger.

Read more: http://www.ncregister.com/blog/simcha-fisher/eight-lessons-of-pregnancy-that-everyone-yes-everyone-can-use#ixzz1n2GSO7UR.

New York Times takes notice

2012-02-21T09:42:00.002-05:00

Fr. Roger Landry, a priest in New Bedford, MA, who was also the keynote speaker for Ruah Woods' banquet last year, was profiled in the New York Times for his vocal defense of the Church's teaching concerning contraception.

Father Landry also gives sermons on contraception, something very few priests do. He says he relies on Pope John Paul II’s argument against contraception, which he summarizes. “That God has made us fundamentally for love,” Father Landry said, “and that marriage is supposed to help us to love for real. In order for that to happen, we need to totally give ourselves over to someone else in love, and receive the other’s total self in love.

“What happens in the use of contraception, rather than embracing us totally as God made the other, with the masculine capacity to become a dad, or the feminine capacity to become a mom, we reject that paternal and maternal leaning.”

Father Landry argues that contraception can be the gateway to exploitation: “When that petition is made for contraception, it’s going to make pleasure the point of the act, and any time pleasure becomes the point rather than the fruit of the act, the other person becomes the means to that end. And we’re actually going to hurt the people we love.”

Read the entire article for a glimpse into the passion, dedication and dynamism of Fr. Landry.

Quote book

2012-02-19T09:08:00.002-05:00

"The cross is like a touch of eternal love upon the most painful wounds of man's earthly existence ..." -- Bl. John Paul II ("Dives in Misericordia #8).

"Contraception denigrates me as a woman"

2012-02-18T10:06:00.002-05:00

It's seemingly impossible to articulate to the world why the Catholic Church finds contraception against the dignity of the human person, why the HHS mandate is deeply flawed, and why we find all of this so offensive. It's not some arbitrary line of morality. It has to do with who we are.

Jumping into the debate with a will to articulate these truths in a very limited amount of words, is my good friend Valerie Pokorny, who guest blogged on CNN's opinion site this week. Her answer?

Should I so easily accept the implication that I need to alter a part of myself that’s working properly in order to be free or fulfilled? I find this premise tremendously offensive. To me, this exerts pressure tantamount to that felt by women who purge after eating to attain or maintain a particular body image. It encourages women to think that their value is somehow intrinsically tied to how sexually available and desirable they are.

Read it all here. If you read even a couple of the comments, it will become even clearer what sort of a cultural catastrophe we have on our hands.

There is No Shame in Being Healed

2012-02-17T09:02:00.000-05:00

Nurture your marriage -- Tips 6-10

2012-02-16T09:01:00.000-05:00

Continued from yesterday, five more tips to nurture your marriage:

6) Frequent confession.

This one might seem a bit surprising, but the more we receive God’s mercy and love, the more we are able to share that mercy and love with others, including our spouse. If you are getting into a routine of being upset with your spouse, frustrated or falling into patterns of selfishness, a visit to the nearest confessional can make a

huge difference. Better yet, arrange for a regular time to go with your entire family.

7) Take a look at what annoys you about your spouse.

Make a list, if you’d like. Then look at that list and consider how these faults or annoyances may cause you to grow. Can you learn to appreciate them in some way if you see that they are molding you into a better person?

8) Respect and honor one another, even when you aren’t together.

How do you speak about your spouse to friends? To coworkers? To strangers? Are you complaining or uplifting? Are you encouraging or rolling your eyes? How you speak about one another to others sets a tone for how you relate to one another and grow in appreciation of one another.

9) Take a Theology of the Body class together.

Discover God’s beautiful plan for your life, for your marriage, for your family. Grow together as you listen, discuss and put into practice the dynamic truth of God’s love for you.

10) Make a list of the ways in which your spouse is a gift to you.

Read the list to your spouse and thank him/her in person for their commitment to love you all the way to eternity.

Nurture your marriage -- Tips 1-5

2012-02-15T09:54:00.002-05:00

On Sunday, I spoke at a local parish about "nurturing your marriage." At the conclusion of my talk, I shared ten practical ways to nurture a marriage. Here are the first five:

1) Pray together.

Take five minutes at the end of the day to pray together, pray for each other, pray for your family, pray for your intentions. Write your own prayer together, if spontaneous prayer is somewhat of a struggle. If God is the source of marriage, then what better way is there for you to draw closer to each other than by drawing closer to Him.

2) Write down questions to ask one another.

Remember, every person – including your spouse – is an unending mystery. There is always something more to learn, something more to be revealed. What did you want to be when you grew up when you were five years old? If you could travel to any five places in the world, where would they be? What is your greatest fear?

3) Surprise each other.

Place notes in the sock drawer. Put flowers in the car. Go for a walk together after dinner. Pop in the video of your wedding day. Continue to find ways to surprise each other, to express your love for each other – always focusing on what you are giving and how you can serve your spouse.

4) Take stock of how you might be limiting your vows without realizing it.
• Pornography -- Am I being fully faithful?
• Giving all of yourself sexually, except the gift of your fertility by using birth control.
• Chatting with men or women online, kindling emotional attachments that detract from your relationship with your spouse.
• Making work a bigger priority than your marriage.
• Making your children a bigger priority than your marriage.

5) Be present to each other.

Put the phone away. Get off of facebook. Have a conversation. Take away the other distractions and learn to show your spouse that he/she is the most important person sitting in front of you right now. A great privilege of marriage is to reflect to another person that they are unique, unrepeatable, someone God believed was worth creating and worth redeeming.

Really, google?

2012-02-14T09:30:00.004-05:00

Google has a short, sweet, innocent little cartoon to celebrate Valentine's Day on their homepage today ... or is it?

The brief story deserves all of the adjectives above, but the concluding screen shows six different couples. The second one to pop up -- in the bottom center -- is two men in tuxes, holding hands. It's slipped in ever so carefully to allow it to seem perfectly normal. No big deal. Just like everybody else.

This is exactly the problem. Google, without probably realizing it, is sending the message that our bodies don't matter, sexual difference doesn't matter, love is not willing the good of the other but feeling great, and marriage can be whatever combination you'd like.

It's not to say someone with a same sex attraction is incapable of love. That is certainly not the case! We are all called to love and to be loved. Yet, a romantic relationship is only fitting between a man and a woman. Our masculinity and femininity remind us of the giving and receiving in love, and the "Eternal Gift" that we know as the Trinity.

Of course, this topic deserves many pages, not merely a couple of sentences. But the point just now is to point your attention to Google's inconspicuous way of changing the terms of love and marriage.

St. Valentine!

2012-02-14T08:08:00.001-05:00

It's Valentine's Day ... the day of pink hearts, conversation hearts and heart-covered cards. Well, actually, today is St. Valentine's Day. And St. Valentine is the patron of engaged couples. And bee keepers. But, sticking with the theme of the day, let's focus on his patronage of young people, the engaged and the married. (Side note: I wonder if his intercession for those who are fainting is related to his intercession for the aforementioned individuals?) It's a great day to ask the intercession of this much-forgotten saint:

Dear Saint and glorious martyr; Teach us to love unselfishly and to find great joy in giving. Enable all true lovers to bring out the best in each other in God and in God in each other.

Love is Patient and Kind,
It doesn't envy or Boast and it's never proud,
Love is not rude or selfish,
It doesn't get angry easily or keep track of wrongs.
Love doesn't delight in bad things
But it rejoices in the truth.
Love always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres.
Love never fails.

Learn more about the saint here.

What are you doing Wednesday night?

2012-02-13T14:15:00.003-05:00

If I wasn't teaching Theology of the Body for Teens, I would definitely be at St. Cecilia in Oakley:

St. Cecilia Parish will host a panel discussion and Q&A at 7 p.m. Wednesday, Feb. 15, in response to the recent government mandate that will require all institutions that provide health insurance to cover the cost of contraceptives, abortion-inducing drugS and sterilization for their employees - all practices that directly violate the Church's teachings.

All are welcome and encouraged to attend. For more information, email Dan Egan at Catholic4areason@gmail.com.

What should I do?

2012-02-13T09:46:00.002-05:00

Another recent high school question: "If I'm in a relationship and I don't think my boyfriend really loves me, what should I do?"

Short answer: Break up.

Long answer: Why are you in this relationship? Are you staying and settling because you aren't confident that "anything better" is waiting for you? Are you comfortable where you are now? Are you hoping that your love for your boyfriend will miraculously transform him into a man who loves you?

Chances are, staying in this relationship is not going to "make" him love you. In fact, you can't make anyone love you. Love has to be freely given.

If your boyfriend is abusive, disrespectful, rude, selfish, or any other characteristics that are the opposite of authentic love, the pain of the break up will be less than the pain of staying together for a longer time.

The truth is that we learn how to love in our friendships and relationships, including our dating relationships. If a pattern of authentic love is not in your current dating relationship, this blueprint will remain with you in future relationships. The sooner you end it, the sooner you will be able to strive, with God's grace, to a new and more complete pattern for love.

Staying in the relationship is also not doing your boyfriend any good. He will be learning love from this pattern too, and if you allow him to continue in selfishness, abuse or any other non-loving practices, then you are (unintentionally) allowing him to become comfortable in a pattern that is not really love.

So, do both of yourself a favor and end the relationship. Wait for someone who will truly love, respect and cherish you. Begin developing the virtues that you will need to learn love and to help another person to grow in love in the future. Pray for your (ex-) boyfriend, that God will lead him to become the man He wants him to be.

Happy National Marriage Week!

2012-02-12T09:14:00.001-05:00

Read all about it here.

Quote book

2012-02-11T08:13:00.002-05:00

"For the 'civilization of love' it is essential that the husband should recognize that the motherhood of his wife is a gift: this is enormously important for the entire process of raising children. Much will depend on his willingness to take his own part in this first stage of the gift of humanity, and to become willingly involved as a husband and father in the motherhood of his wife." -- Bl. John Paul II in "Letter to Families"

Letter to my high school self

2012-02-10T13:01:00.000-05:00

A step in the right direction

2012-02-09T10:34:00.004-05:00

I wasn't expecting to get a text this morning instructing me to google something with the words, "Victoria's Secret." At first I suspected it was some sort of spam, but in reality it was a friend alerting me to the news that a lingerie model has quit because of her faith and because of her desire to respect her husband.

According to one story:

[Kylie] Bisutti had decided to leave the lingerie company awhile ago. On Dec. 1, the day after the nationally televised Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in which Bisutti didn’t appear, the model posted to her Twitter page, “For all of you that were looking for me in the Victorias Secret runway show this year, I wasn’t in it. I have decided not to model lingerie Because I personally feel that I am not honoring God or my husband by doing it. My marriage is very important & with divorce rates rising I want to do everything I can to protect my marriage and be respectful to my husband. God graciously gave me this marriage and this life and my desire is to live a Godly faithful life, I don’t however judge others for what they do. Everyone is convicted on different levels.”

I'd post a link, but the unfortunate reality is that all of the news stories are unable to report that someone know longer wishes to be seen publicly in her underwear without showing her in said undergarments. Consequently, I'm not about to post a link, but the above quote from ABC gets to the point quite nicely.

Happy feast day of St. Josephine Bakhita!

2012-02-08T15:45:00.002-05:00

Of whom Pope Benedict XVI wrote in "Spe Salvi" --

The example of a saint of our time can to some degree help us understand what it means to have a real encounter with this God for the first time. I am thinking of the African Josephine Bakhita, canonized by Pope John Paul II. She was born around 1869—she herself did not know the precise date—in Darfur in Sudan. At the age of nine, she was kidnapped by slave-traders, beaten till she bled, and sold five times in the slave-markets of Sudan.

Eventually she found herself working as a slave for the mother and the wife of a general, and there she was flogged every day till she bled; as a result of this she bore 144 scars throughout her life. Finally, in 1882, she was bought by an Italian merchant for the Italian consul Callisto Legnani, who returned to Italy as the Mahdists advanced.

Here, after the terrifying “masters” who had owned her up to that point, Bakhita came to know a totally different kind of “master”—in Venetian dialect, which she was now learning, she used the name “paron” for the living God, the God of Jesus Christ. Up to that time she had known only masters who despised and maltreated her, or at best considered her a useful slave. Now, however, she heard that there is a “paron” above all masters, the Lord of all lords, and that this Lord is good, goodness in person. She came to know that this Lord even knew her, that he had created her—that he actually loved her. She too was loved, and by none other than the supreme “Paron”, before whom all other masters are themselves no more than lowly servants. She was known and loved and she was awaited. What is more, this master had himself accepted the destiny of being flogged and now he was waiting for her “at the Father's right hand”.

Now she had “hope” —no longer simply the modest hope of finding masters who would be less cruel, but the great hope: “I am definitively loved and whatever happens to me—I am awaited by this Love. And so my life is good.” Through the knowledge of this hope she was “redeemed”, no longer a slave, but a free child of God. She understood what Paul meant when he reminded the Ephesians that previously they were without hope and without God in the world—without hope because without God. Hence, when she was about to be taken back to Sudan, Bakhita refused; she did not wish to be separated again from her “Paron”.

On 9 January 1890, she was baptized and confirmed and received her first Holy Communion from the hands of the Patriarch of Venice. On 8 December 1896, in Verona, she took her vows in the Congregation of the Canossian Sisters and from that time onwards, besides her work in the sacristy and in the porter's lodge at the convent, she made several journeys round Italy in order to promote the missions: the liberation that she had received through her encounter with the God of Jesus Christ, she felt she had to extend, it had to be handed on to others, to the greatest possible number of people. The hope born in her which had “redeemed” her she could not keep to herself; this hope had to reach many, to reach everybody.

And I thought vending machines were to sustain life

2012-02-07T14:06:00.003-05:00

There just has to be a positive news story out there somewhere, right? Well, this one is not. Marcel Lejeune is alerting readers to the fact that Shippensburg University in Pennsylvania is now selling the Plan B chemical abortion pill in vending machines. It's for convenience, of course, that we are now able to encourage young college women to behave sexually however they so choose, and then head to the campus building that provides easy, confidential access to a pill that supposedly erases the effects of what they did last night. With the ease of purchasing a coke or a pack of M&Ms on a whim, college women can now purchase death for their own children.

Thank you!

2012-02-06T13:32:00.002-05:00

Thanks to all who attended the Melanie Pritchard and Fr. John Parks presentation last Wednesday. Approximately 250 people were in attendance, listening to the talk, enjoying music by Lee Roessler, and meeting other young people from the Tri-State area. It is always a blessing to have so many teens gather in one place to learn more about chastity and to grow in their relationship with God.

Quote book

2012-02-04T09:35:00.001-05:00

"Those who share in the sufferings of Christ preserve in their own sufferings a very special particle of the infinite treasure of the world's Redemption, and can share this treasure with others." -- Bl. John Paul II

Should women pursue, Part 2

2012-02-03T10:10:00.002-05:00

The following is the rest of my answer to the question, "Is it wrong for a woman to take matters into her own hands (in her relationship with a man)?"

OK, now on to dating and who should pursue who. Here’s the deal … men are initiators, providers and protectors. Now this doesn’t mean that women have to stand in a corner and do absolutely nothing, but if women are aggressive or start pursuing the man, then I think that’s where a lot of our problems in society come from. If women are pursuing, then men don’t have to rise to the challenge. They don’t have to risk. They don’t have to be vulnerable. They can basically sit back and get what they want without having to do anything.

And maybe that seems nice to some guys at first, but over time I think they feel like they’ve been robbed of their masculinity. I think they can feel like their ability to provide/protect/initiate has been questioned, and this can lead to resentment of the woman. Because she didn’t trust him enough to let him lead, or because she is taking matters into her own hands, he can feel like he’s not even a necessary part of the relationship. He can feel used.

And his response could be expressed in a number of ways. A) He could sit back and bask in laziness (ala most sitcom men these days). B) He could become violent or abusive in order to gain control. C) He could leave the relationship because he’s not sure if he ever wanted to be there in the first place, or if he wanted it for the right reasons, etc.
So, on the other side, what happens when a woman allows the man to pursue her? First, she shows that she respects the man and appreciates/respects the gift of his masculinity. She shows that a relationship is not just about her, but that she acknowledges the need and the good of the presence of the man.

Secondly, she shows that she trusts the man, and that she trusts God – “let it be, Lord, according to Your word.” She is willing to entrust herself to God’s care and to His will, knowing that His desire for her is so much better than her own. I think it encourages her to see God as the Giver of a good relationship, instead of making a relationship her god. She is able to grow in prayer (and this is one of things that the woman is able to “do” – pray for the man to have the courage, clarity and strength to pursue a relationship, if it is God’s will).

Thirdly, in giving the man the “space” to pursue/initiate, she allows him the opportunity to determine if he is really interested in her without being manipulated. He is able to stand on a more firm foundation before risking a relationship. I think that’s a big part of it … because she doesn’t throw herself at him, he has to take more of a risk, so he wants to be sure he is doing the right thing before proceeding. If the woman is pursuing, then a man can take a relationship a lot less seriously, but if he has to put himself on the line, then he is going to give it a lot more thought, prayer and discernment. This makes for a better relationship for both the man and the woman.

Now all of this is making relationships sound like a big deal. They are! Our culture treats dating like just another random activity. So, we don’t tend to think about all of these things or consider why casual dating may not be the best training for our future vocation. So, all of this talk about giving the man “space” to discern God’s will, etc., plays into dating as being purposeful. It ties in with the idea of dating/courtship as a discernment of marriage. It doesn’t mean marriage to this person is inevitable or that it should be assumed that it will occur, but that if these two people did not believe in the possibility of God calling them to marriage, then they wouldn’t be in a relationship.

I think women can signal that they are interested, but this is done in different ways. Sometimes women do this by flaunting themselves (not good!) and sometimes they might think they are expressing their interest, but the guy has to be very in tune to pick up on her interest because it may not be super explicit/obvious. But girls can signal their interest by saying yes when the guy asks them to go out. And they can signal their interest by not hiding their interest. Some of the “signaling” can be rather subtle. Again, a lot depends on the girl. But she has a responsibility to ask herself in all of her actions/words/thoughts whether she is grasping for a relationship or receiving the possibility of the relationship.

So, should a girl ask a guy out? I strongly believe the answer should be “no.” If she does, it sets up a pattern for the future with her taking the lead, being in control, etc. And it leads the man to question why he’s in this relationship, etc. (See three points about man’s response above.) From a secular perspective, there’s a book called, “He’s Just Not That Into You” that explains that women should really wait for the man. They say that if he doesn’t ask the woman out or if he doesn’t risk something and initiate, then he’s not really interested in the girl, and she should drop her interest. They say if he doesn’t take the lead, then he’s not really interested, and so a strong relationship is out of the question unless he’s really interested. Therefore, the girl is better off being interested in someone who is really interested in her. This perspective is not only religious, though our faith plays a huge role in understanding our masculinity and femininity.

Should women pursue?

2012-02-02T09:05:00.000-05:00

We were recently speaking at a local high school where time ran short to answer all of the students' questions. I promised to answer as many as possible on the blog in the coming weeks.

So, to begin: "Is it wrong for a woman to take matters into her own hands (in her relationship with a man)?"

I find that many people today don’t understand the concept of receptivity/being pursued, partially because they don’t want to understand it. They aren’t open to even hearing the message because they’ve already decided that receiving is bad and pursuing is all about power and control. So, it’s hard to even begin the conversation!

Hopefully we can all agree that love involves both giving and receiving. And both people have to give and receive. But there is also an “order” to love. If two people are dancing and both are trying to lead, then it’s not going to go so well. It will be a bit messy. So, there is a kind of “priority” to one person giving/leading/pursuing and one person receiving/being pursued. Now for ages and ages, philosophers (and random people) assumed that receiving made someone “less” or inferior. And that’s why for years people thought that women were the “second sex” and were inferior, because they received, so they didn’t have the same “power” and were therefore not as good as men.

Well, then Thomas Aquinas got involved and he noticed something about God. God is a Communion of Persons – Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and God is love. If love is giving and receiving, then that means there is both giving and receiving in God. God is perfect. Other theologians since concluded that if there is “receiving” in God, then it can’t be bad or inferior for human persons.

If we look at Christ, and specifically if we look at Philippians 2 (the verses on which Kenosis is based), we see that He “received” Himself from the Father, but He is not “less” than the Father. He is “equally” God. And over time, philosophers and theologians were able to see that if Jesus Christ, who is fully God, could receive Himself from the Father and not be any less than the Father, then receptivity does not make someone less.

So, if we get back to the man/woman thing, we see that a woman receiving/being pursued doesn’t make her inferior. But there has to be an “order” to love, and both giving and receiving. Now, women also give; they don’t just receive. But the way that they receive is also a form of giving. For example, if a man opens a door for a woman, and the woman receives his gift, then she is also giving to the man, by allowing him to give, affirming his masculinity, etc. I think this is a lost art. We tend to want to outgive and never receive, because we are so afraid that if we receive something we are “less,” or it makes us vulnerable or we feel like we “owe” something.

And here’s the really amazing thing … when we ladies allow men to pursue us, instead of pursuing men, the guys respect us more, they cherish us, they really love us, they are willing to sacrifice for us. It invites them to see our value and dignity and to fight for it. It invites them to decide that we are worth the sacrifice and the risk. It enables the man to see that he is really interested in the woman – he is interested in her for who she is, and he is interested himself, instead of feeling pressured into it by her. And a woman allowing herself to be pursued invites the man to grow in masculinity, to take a risk, to initiate a relationship with her. So, it’s a win-win situation because both the woman and the man are invited, challenged and inspired to grow in the gift of their masculinity and femininity.

Now, at the same time, waiting to be pursued is not easy, and I think that’s the other reason why a lot of women give up on the idea. They decide the wait is too long or too difficult, and they decide to start pursuing (grasping) for a guy. But this is lose-lose, because the woman and man switch their “order” or their roles, and they don’t stay too happy where they are. Men may feel discontent or consider that they didn’t initiate the relationship and therefore lose interest. Women are forced to keep grasping in order for the “relationship” to continue.

It brings up another very important point – the purpose of initiating/pursuing is not power but service. If it’s just a power trip or an opportunity to boast about how strong one is, then people are right to be disgusted by the idea. But when men properly understand the idea of pursuing as a matter of love and service, then both the man and the woman are able to thrive.

So, practically speaking the whole pursue/being pursued thing involves giving and receiving from both the man and the woman. The woman has to open a space for the man to be able to pursue (instead of her pursuing/initiating/grasping), and then man has to open a space for the woman to consent to his gift of self by giving herself.

More on this topic soon ...

And now for some good news ...

2012-02-01T09:42:00.001-05:00

The Susan G. Komen Foundation is no longer supporting Planned Parenthood! Read the story here.

Bad news for coffee fans

2012-02-01T08:17:00.001-05:00

First of all, let me confess how much I love coffee. And secondly let me confess my enjoyment of strolling through the Starbucks drive-thru in order to grab a quick cup of coffee, a java chip frappucino, a caramel macchiato or a scone.

And now, the bad news.

Starbucks is a vocal supporter of same-sex "marriage." Rumors have circled on the topic for awhile, but this can't be any more obvious.

It's quite the disappointment that I can't even buy a cup of coffee without supporting an agenda with which I vehemently disagree. Why does coffee have to involve a moral and anthropological issue?

Well, I guess it's see you later to the latte and enjoying more Mystic Monk coffee in my French press.

You can read more here and can inform Starbucks of your thoughts on the matter here.

What are you doing tomorrow night?

2012-01-31T13:34:00.003-05:00

Don't forget that Melanie Pritchard and Fr. John Parks will be speaking on February 1 (that's tomorrow) at 7 pm at the Underground in Cincinnati. Lee Roessler will be providing music. The event is free. We would love to see you there!

Resisting the pressure of pointless dating

2012-01-30T15:30:00.000-05:00

Quote book

2012-01-28T08:10:00.000-05:00

"Now is the time to begin to prepare yourself for family life. You cannot fulfill this path if you do not know how to love. To love means to want to perfect yourself and your beloved, to overcome your selfishness, and give yourself completely." -- St. Gianna Beretta Molla

Language of Abortion Commercial HD

2012-01-27T08:44:00.000-05:00

From Aggie Catholics, comes word of this commercial ...

March for Life pictures

2012-01-25T09:09:00.003-05:00

Some pictures from the March for Life are available here and here. Reports are saying half a million people were in attendance, which would make it the largest March ever, I do believe. And yet, once again, did you hear a report (and if so, an accurate report) from the mainstream media?

A young person's view of the March for Life

2012-01-24T13:07:00.002-05:00

The National Catholic Register shares this great piece about this year's March for Life.

We come because we are the generation who has been hurt by abortion; youth are missing countless brothers, sisters, cousins, friends ...

Although the day was gloomy, the crowd was joyful, if not a bit too exuberant at times. For once, the group I was with made it to the rally early. We were right in front of the main stage and saw and heard the testimonies and speakers.

At first it was quiet. I have experienced the march before and seen the massive crowds, but every year I still wonder if they will come. Slowly they drift in, until, at last, you look up to find you are in a sea of people, mostly young people. It’s an amazing sight.

Read more: http://www.ncregister.com/daily-news/witnesses-for-life-a-young-persons-account-of-the-march-for-life/#ixzz1kOt6LQc1

Life is worth defending

2012-01-23T10:02:00.002-05:00

I'm marching for life today in our nation's capital. I hope to have a full report later this week. Please pray for the thousands (and by thousands I mean a normal turnout of 200,000-400,000) of people who have traveled to DC to stand up for life.

On the anniversary of Roe v. Wade

2012-01-22T10:10:00.000-05:00

Quote book

2012-01-21T08:47:00.000-05:00

"If you really want to know if your attire is fitting for a Christian woman, ask yourself: If Jesus Christ returned to earth, would I want to meet Him while wearing this outfit? Although it may sound a bit apocalyptic, dress like you're ready for the Second Coming. It's not just about preparing to meet your judge. It's about preparing to meet your groom. Dress accordingly." -- Jason and Crystalina Evert in "How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul"

I'm Human

2012-01-20T09:37:00.001-05:00

Marcel LeJeune shared this incredible video. One of my favorite topics is the fact that each human person is unique and unrepeatable. Each particular person has a particular story to share. This video captures that with stunning eloquence.

Marching for Life from home

2012-01-19T08:46:00.002-05:00

Sacred Heart Radio's newest feature, The Catholic Beat, has the scoop on pro-life events in the Tri-State area this weekend to participate in the spirit of the March for Life from home. I highly encourage you to check out the events, if you are unable to be in Washington, DC for the annual March. It's a wonderful opportunity to unite with others in seeking a culture of life.

Damon Owens coming to Ft. Laramie

2012-01-18T15:20:00.003-05:00

If you're a reader from the northern areas of the Archdiocese of Cincinnati, or if you are interested in a beautiful drive in the country, check out Damon Owen's upcoming talks in Ft. Laramie, Ohio.

A life put to a vote

2012-01-18T10:09:00.003-05:00

Elizabeth Scalia wrote about this terrible situation, found here:

“So you mean to tell me that as a doctor, you are not recommending the transplant, and when her kidneys fail in six months to a year, you want me to let her die because she is mentally retarded? There is no other medical reason for her not to have this transplant other than she is MENTALLY RETARDED!”

“Yes. This is hard for me, you know.”

My eyes burn through his soul as if I could set him on fire right there. “Ok, so now what? This is not acceptable to me. Who do I talk to next?”

“I will take this back to the team. We meet once a month. I will tell them I do not recommend Amelia for a transplant because she is mentally retarded and we will vote.”

“And then who do I see?”

“Well, you can then take it the ethics committee but as a team we have the final say. Feel free to go somewhere else. But it won’t be done here.”

They both get up and leave the room.

According to the mother who wrote the story, this is not uncommon. Why is this not seen as a form of eugenics, forcing the "unfit" to die? Why is there not more outcry that a little girl would be denied a necessary organ because of brain damage? Who makes the determination of who is "fit" and who is not?

Patron for the year

2012-01-17T15:44:00.002-05:00

Some families pick saints' names out of a hat every new year, asking the particular saint to intercede for them during the next 12 months. If you haven't encountered this tradition, Jennifer Fulwiler has created a "saint generator" on her website. Just visit here and begin your year with a special patron.

Vocations stories

2012-01-16T12:56:00.002-05:00

Speaking of vocations (of the priestly and religious variety), check out Cincinnati Vocations for some wonderful stories from those who are living or are discerning these particular ways of growing in holiness.

John Paul II on love, vocation and marriage

2012-01-15T09:20:00.000-05:00

From "Crossing the Threshold of Love" --

"Clearly, then, the fundamental problem of youth is profoundly personal. In life, youth is when we come to know ourselves. It is also a time of communion. Young people, whether boys or girls, know they must live for and with others, they know that their life has meaning to the extent that it becomes a free gift for others. Here is the origin of all vocations -- whether to priesthood or religious life, or to marriage and family. The call to marriage is also a vocation ,a gift from God. I will never forget a young man, an engineering student in Krakow, who everyone knew aspired with determination to holiness. This was his life plan. He knew he had been 'created for great things,' as Saint Stanislaus Kostka once expressed it. And at the same time, he had no doubt that his vocation was neither to priesthood nor to religious life. He knew he was called to remain the secular world. Technical work, the study of engineering, was his passion. He sought a companion for his life and sought her on his knees, in prayer. I will never forget the conversation in which, after a special day of retreat, he said to me: 'I think that this is the woman who should be my wife, that it is God who has given her to me.' It was almost as if he were following not only the voice of his own wishes but above all the voice of God Himself. He knew that all good things come from Him, and he made a good choice. I am speaking of Jerzy Ciesielski, who died in a tragic accident in the Sudan, where he had been invited to teach at the University. The cause for his beatification is under way.

It is this vocation to love that naturally allows us to draw close to the young. As a priest I realized this very early. I felt almost an inner call in this direction. It is necessary to prepare young people for marriage, it is necessary to teach them love. Love is not something that is learned, and yet there is nothing else as important to learn! As a young priest I learned to love human love. This has been one of the fundamental themes of my priesthood -- my ministry in the pulpit, in the confessional, and also in my writing. If one loves human love, there naturally arises the need to commit oneself completely to the service of 'fair love,' because love is fair, it is beautiful.

After all, young people are always searching for the beauty in love. They want their love to be beautiful. If they give in to weakness, following models of behavior that can rightly be considered a 'scandal in the contemporary world' (and these are, unfortunately, widely diffused models), in the depths of their hearts they still desire a beautiful and pure love. This is as true as boys as it is of girls. Ultimately, they know that only God can give them this love. As a result, they are willing to follow Christ, without caring about the sacrifices this may entail.

As a young priest and pastor I came to this way of looking at young people and at youth, and it as remained constant all these years. It is an outlook which also allows me to meet young people wherever I go. Every parish priest in Rome knows that my visits to the parish must conclude with a meeting between the Bishop of Rome and the young people of the parish. And not only in Rome, but anywhere the Pope goes, he seeks out the young and the young seek him out. Actually, in truth, it is not the Pope who is being sought out at all. The one being sought out is Christ, who knows 'that which is in every man' (cf. Jn 2:25), especially in a young person, and who can give true answers in his questions! And even if they are demanding answers, the young are not afraid of them; more to the point, they even await them."

Pretty vs. Hot

2012-01-14T09:42:00.001-05:00

Pat Archbold has some thoughts about the death of pretty in today's culture:

Young women today do not seem to aspire to pretty, they prefer to be regarded as hot. Hotness is something altogether different. When women want to be hot instead of pretty, they must view themselves in a certain way and consequently men view them differently as well.

As I said, pretty inspires men’s nobler instincts to protect and defend. Pretty is cherished. Hotness, on the other hand, is a commodity. Its value is temporary and must be used. It is a consumable.

Read more: http://www.ncregister.com/blog/the-death-of-pretty#ixzz1izhMd210.

Vocations Awareness Week, part 4

2012-01-13T13:23:00.003-05:00

In the final reflection during this week dedicated to vocations awareness, I wanted to say a word of thanks. How in the world is anyone supposed to embrace a life given wholly and irrevocably to the Lord without witnesses of joyful, peaceful, grateful fiats to the particular vocation which God entrusted to them? Vocations awareness is provided most profoundly by the silent eloquence of others who are living their vocation.

- Of the priest who spends every morning in the wooden confessional, praying for his penitents and offering them God's mercy through the sacrament.

- Of the wife and mother who struggles patiently with her two-year-old at daily Mass, wanting to receive love so she can give it.

- Of the religious sister who comforts another, giving advice, quietly listening and promising prayers.

- Of the husband and father who teaches his children how to pray, blesses them every night and wraps his family in prayer, even when he'd rather put up his feet and doze behind the opened newspaper.

Thank you to all those who have embraced their vocation, who time and again recommit to living more fully what the Lord has asked. Thank you to all who, whether they have yet found a concrete state of life from which to do this, respond to the universal call to holiness and witness to God's love in the simplest ways, often without realizing they are doing so.

Thank you especially to the priests who bring us the Eucharist, mercy in confession, a witness of fatherhood and of the love of Christ who gave everything to and for His Church. A priest's vocation is at the service of all of us. But we stand in gratitude and humility for their gift.

Vocations Awareness Week, part 3

2012-01-12T10:08:00.000-05:00

In our continued conversation this week about the nature of vocations, it seems appropriate to consider the question of vocations promotion. A major problem today seems to be that of continuity. We often consider that we can live our lives any way we choose and then miraculously be struck by a heretofore everlasting spirit of selflessness and generosity, which will result in our embracing a vocation and properly living our vocation for the rest of our lives.

It's not quite the case.

In "Familiaris Consortio," John Paul II said that we need to have remote, proximate and immediate marriage preparation. Proper marriage preparation cannot be squeezed into six brief months. Rather, it begins at birth. The same would be true of a vocation to priesthood and the religious life. If this is the case, then rather than approach the topic of preparation for one vocation or another on two different planes, perhaps we should approach them like a "Y." The same formation continues through childhood and adolescence and eventually branches into one particular preparation or another.

If our specific vocation springs from our universal vocation to love -- which we receive upon our first moment of existence -- then our specific vocation preparation should begin from Day 1 as well. This preparation is always a training in love. It is further specified as we discern, realize and receive the way in which God calls us to love.

How can we begin from Day 1?

• Awareness of being a child of God

• Desires as a prayer (hungry, tired, etc.)

• Receiving, not grasping

• Love = willing the good of the other

• Modesty = body is good, so we treat it as a treasure

• Priests/religious as a sign of heaven

• Marriage as a sign of God’s love

• Praying for priests/consecrated/married people

• Sexuality as a precious gift

• Language of the body

• Beauty = reflection of God’s love

• Prayer as communication with God in which God shares His life with us and leads us on a path to Him in heaven.

• Crucifix as a reminder of real love

• Suffering – “offer it up” as fertilizer for seeds planted by God.

If we want to pray for vocations -- which is a very good thing to do! -- we musn't sit back and wait for the Fairy Vocations Godmother to wave a magic wand and turn random people into faith-loving, Gospel-sharing, God's love-reflecting priests, religious and married couples. Rather, the pray for vocations must accompany a commitment to assisting others in receiving their call from God from the first moment of life.

Need a little encouragement?

2012-01-11T09:08:00.003-05:00

Then check out the Catholic Campus Ministry program at Southeast Missouri State University's top 12 moments of 2011. Goodness, they've been busy! It's well worth a few minutes to read how active the Holy Spirit has been on their campus. God bless their campus minister, Kristen, for so beautifully serving her students.

Vocations Awareness Week, part 2

2012-01-10T10:20:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I said a few words about the confusion of the definition of "vocation" and that we rarely hear the word ascribed to those called to marriage. Today I'd like to continue the topic in light of this Vocations Awareness Week by looking at how we define vocation.

We were created in and through love for love. Our body is called to love and we return this gift by giving a total gift of self in love. There are two ways of irrevocably giving self – marriage and consecrated life.

John Paul II summarized in Familiaris Consortio #11:

God created man in His own image and likeness: calling him to existence through love, He called him at the same time for love. God is love and in Himself He lives a mystery of personal loving communion. Creating the human race in His own image and continually keeping it in being, God inscribed in the humanity of man and woman the vocation, and thus the capacity and responsibility, of love and communion. Love is therefore the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being.[…] Christian revelation recognizes two specific ways of realizing the vocation of the human person in its entirety, to love: marriage and virginity or celibacy. Either one is, in its own proper form, an actuation of the most profound truth of man, of his being "created in the image of God."

Our whole life should be a training to love – in heaven we will give/receive love eternally. Our vocation is the particular way in which God calls us to learn to love Him. A vocation, therefore, isn't something we grasp for or determine ourselves. It requires listening, patience, discerning in prayer so we can receive all that the Lord has for us.

If our whole life is a training to love, and we do that in a guided way through a vocation, then we should be preparing for our vocation from Day 1. We aren't waiting for life to begin the moment we make vows, whether as priests, consecrated or married. We begin learning to love and are eventually called to further specify the way in which we love through our total and forever gift to God.

I once heard Matt Maher give some excellent advice: Don't make finding your vocation your God. He said we are often so intent on finding our vocation that we lose sight of the Vocation-Giver. Many singles place so much emphasis, focus and stress on their future vocation that rather than preparing themselves to receive God’s love and to love Him in return, they are training themselves (ironically) to be self-focused, to grasp instead of to receive.

When we pray for vocations, we need to pray for openness in discernment, for the ability to hear God clearly, for the conviction to act upon the call He gives. Once again, this is a thought often reserved for those called to priesthood and religious life. Yet, those preparing for or discerning marriage also need to receive the call in patience, trust, openness, surrender and discernment. If this is the beginning for both vocations, both states of life can blossom more fully in the soil of God's love.

Vocations Awareness Week

2012-01-09T13:57:00.002-05:00

It's Vocations Awareness Week, and this affords me an opportunity to let you in on a pet peeve of mine. Actually, "pet peeve" makes it seem smaller than it actually is (or perhaps that just underscores the fact that it is a "pet peeve"). Nearly every time someone refers to the word, "vocation" it is used as a synonym for the priesthood or religious life.

Once when in Rome, a priest asked me, "So, do you have a vocation?"

And I looked at him and said, "Yes, I do. I'm just not sure what it is yet."

He seemed a bit taken aback. And now a couple of years later the second priest witnessing that interaction will be witnessing my wedding vows in a few months.

On another occasion, I was speaking with a fellow parishioner who was asking about my family. He inquired about one of my brothers who had just gotten married a month or two before. But then he puzzled me by asking, "With all of those brothers, do you think there's going to be a vocation in there somewhere?" It took all of the politeness I could muster to not quickly reply, "Yes, I already told you, there is one -- my brother just got married."

It's a tricky situation. On the one hand, we certainly want to affirm the beauty, dignity and gift of a vocation to the priesthood or religious life. Please, please, contact Fr. Kyle Schnippel, or look into a religious order. But we cannot promote religious vocations to the exclusion of realizing that marriage is also a vocation. It is also a path to holiness ... not a lifetime vacation of getting whatever one wants.

At times, when we pray at Mass for vocations, we fail to realize that marriage is also a vocation. It leaves the idea that if I am holy, I can be called to more holiness in priesthood or religious life. But if I am not holy, I will be banished to the second-tier of marriage, which will not lead me to holiness. It's simply for the mediocre rest of us.

We need a way to promote vocations as a way of discerning the gift that God wishes us to receive -- the gift of growing in holiness in a particular way that He calls us to.

I'd like to spend some time during this Vocations Awareness Week exploring ways in which we can seek and celebrate the goodness and beauty of both the vocation to celibacy and the vocation to marriage. They shouldn't be set in opposition like the Steelers and the Bengals, but should wonderfully complement one another and highlight different aspects of the relationship between Christ and His Church.

Quote book

2012-01-08T09:10:00.000-05:00

…"indeed it compels us to start out afresh on a new stage of the journey on which we become proclaimers and heralds.…The Wise Men were in a sense the first missionaries. Their encounter with Christ did not keep them in Bethlehem, but made them set out anew on the paths of the world.

"We need to ‘set out anew from Christ,’ with the zeal of Pentecost, with renewed enthusiasm. To set out from him above all in a daily commitment to holiness, with an attitude of prayer and of listening to his word. To set out from him in order to testify to his Love by living a Christian life marked by communion, charity, and witness before the world." -- Bl. John Paul II

"On the Transformative Power of an Observed Love"

2012-01-07T09:23:00.003-05:00

Msgr. Charles Pope shares an incredible story about the transforming power of love. I can't find any small piece to excerpt because it really must be read in its entirety. So, click on over to the Archdiocese of Washington blog for a good read.

Archbishop Dolan on the Today Show

2012-01-06T12:27:00.001-05:00

I just love Cardinal-elect Timothy Dolan!

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

The world in which we live

2012-01-06T11:14:00.002-05:00

It's a world where a mother can report:

My daughter Liliana, who was 8 when we were playing the board game, tossed off this remark as she stuck the tiny blue husband pin into her car: "When I grow up, I don't think I'll get married. I think I'll just get some sperm."

And it's a world where mother can then describe why she has now come to see that marriage is valuable and something she would love to see for her daughter.

But then it's a world where mother doesn't give enough weight to her ideas by wavering about what actually makes marriage a good thing.

How to defend the goodness of marriage as an objective form in which we are invited to participate through marriage vows? An individual couple receiving and actually living these vows can say volumes more to the world than a 500-word op-ed. So how are we living in this world in which we live?

Meeting mom 77 years later

2012-01-05T09:42:00.002-05:00

When Minka Disbrow was raped and found herself pregnant in 1928, she reluctantly placed her precious baby daughter for adoption. For 77 years, she wondered about her little girl. So, it was quite a surprise for mother and daughter to meet for the first time at age 99 and 82, respectively.

Read the beautiful story here.

Ma'am, you should be a priest

2012-01-04T11:27:00.003-05:00

This article originally appeared on Catholic Exchange in 2009.

Recently I was volunteering at a local pro-life event, when a former fellow parishioner approached me to say hello. She asked what I was doing these days. At my reply that I am studying for a master’s in theology, she grumbled, “It’s a shame you’re into that theology of the body, or else you could be priest.”

Shocked, I attempted to collect my composure being answering.

I have had a handful of Protestants ask if my goal was to be a minister upon graduation. Despite my insistence to the contrary, middle-aged Brenda, from whom I purchased my car a year ago, eagerly told her mother that I was going to be a minister. The mother ran out of the house, arms flailing in excitement at the revelation that I would be preaching the Good News in such a capacity. My protests were met with wagging fingers and amused expressions as they told me that “God surprises us sometimes.”

Yet I think my run-in at the pro-life event was my first encounter with a Catholic who thought that I should be a priest. She had no interest in my words that the priesthood isn’t about power, but about service. “Tell that to the priests,” she quipped.

My reminder that the Blessed Mother was not a priest but enjoyed an incredibly privileged role in the Church, was met with, “That’s true, but that was 2,000 years ago.”

She mentioned the necessity of equality, to which I replied that equality is not identical to sameness. She disagreed and added that the Church must offer “equal opportunity for Sacraments.”

It’s interesting how much we let our culture’s ideas color our views of the Church. Society espouses that there is no difference between male and female. They are the same.

The fact that only one can be a mother, and only one can be a father apparently makes no difference.

Ephesians 5, which is typically used to discuss the meaning of marriage, is just as valuable in the discussion of male priesthood. Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. Priests stand in the person of Christ, in relation to His Bride, the Church. How, then, could a woman be a priest? How could a woman, a potential mother, “marry” Mother Church?

The male-only priesthood isn’t an exclusive club of cigar-smoking men in black who chuckle at their ability to fool women into believing they can’t join. Rather, it’s an invitation to service – an opportunity for men to “wash the feet” and sacrifice their lives for their beloved Bride, the Church.

This doesn’t make women sighing, whimpering, fragile creatures whose sole role in life is to be catered to by men. Rather, only women can be mothers. Only they can nurture life in such a way that two or more heartbeats can palpitate in their bodies at the same time. Only a mother can give birth to a priest. One can say that without women there would be no priests.

It’s all a matter of seeing the beauty of God’s plan – the unity that can occur because of the diversity in creation. Each of us exists as a man or as a woman. Neither is deficient or lesser than the other. But the fact that each is created in God’s image and likeness does not mean that they exist as the same. Rather in the difference they reflect something of God. It is because they are different, yet equal, that they are able to love in a way that can include a total and unique gift of self, resulting in the possibility of new life. And this union points us to the love of God that exists in the Trinity.

There is a particularly poignant scene in the film Pope John Paul II: The Movie, in which the Holy Father is driving through a group of angry, protesting women, holding signs advocating women priests and abortion on demand. Jon Voight, playing John Paul II says, “How can I tell them how much God loves women? His intention from the beginning, equality, balance, perfection.”

I don’t think these words were taken as a direct quote from the late Holy Father, but I think they certainly capture the essence of his love for women, and therefore his frustration that so many failed to receive his tender words.

Anyone who disbelieves the dignity with which the Church treats women should pick up John Paul’s “Letter to Women” or “On the Dignity and Vocation of Women.” There they will find his careful treatment of the “genius of women” and their unique call to love.

John Paul II’s enthusiasm is apparent, for example, in the conclusion of “On the Dignity and Vocation of Women”: “During the Marian Year the Church desires to give thanks to the Most Holy Trinity for the ‘mystery of woman’ and for every woman – for that which constitutes the eternal measure of her feminine dignity, for the ‘great works of God,’ which throughout human history have been accomplished in and through her. After all, was it not in and through her that the greatest event in human history – the incarnation of God himself – was accomplished?” (31).

When viewed through this lens, as opposed to the culture’s, we can see that the Church’s understanding of priesthood is a loving way of preserving the unique dignity of both men and women. And in the end, this guarantees that we will be truly happy.

I’ll take that over being called “Father” any day.

Ruah Woods' event on Feb. 1

2012-01-03T12:47:00.000-05:00

The Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God

2012-01-01T08:51:00.001-05:00

"We should not be surprised that she is spoken of as a thought by God before the world was made. When Whistler painted the picture of his mother, did he not have the image of her in his mind before he ever gathered his colors on his palette? If you could have preexisted your mother (not artistically, but really), would you not have made her the most perfect woman that ever lived -— one so beautiful she would have been the sweet envy of all women, and one so gentle and so merciful that all other mothers would have sought to imitate her virtues? Why, then, should we think that God would do otherwise? When Whistler was complimented on the portrait of his mother, he said, "You know how it is; one tries to make one's Mummy just as nice as he can." When God became Man, He too, I believe, would make His Mother as nice as He could -— and that would make her a perfect Mother." -- Archbishop Fulton Sheen in "The World's First Love"

10 "Good News" moments of 2011

2011-12-31T08:58:00.000-05:00

Last year, I celebrated the close of 2009 with a list of the top ten highlights of the year associated with Theology of the Body, Kenosis and Ruah Woods. I always enjoy remembering what God has done in the past 365 days, so I’m going to embark on the project again this year. What opportunities have we been blessed with this year?

10) Brian Butler coming to town

In April, Ruah Woods partnered with the Archdiocese of Cincinnati to host Brian Butler’s Theology of the Body for Teens training program. It was so refreshing to hear Brian speak, holding his audiences captive by sharing the hunger of teens for a challenging, beautiful message. It was also encouraging to see how many teachers, DREs, youth ministers and parents filed into St. Peter in Huber Heights and Immaculate Heart of Mary in Anderson Township to learn how to communicate TOB to the youth.

9) Kenosis Discipleship Week

In July we had our first Kenosis Discipleship Week – an opportunity for high school students to receive from the Lord and then to learn how to concretely give of themselves to their schools, parishes, family and friends. We had Mass every day, generously offered by local priests. We spent time in prayer, reflection, small groups and education sessions. We also had working groups, bringing their gifts and talents to the table to see how they can reach others in creative ways.

8) Tremendous range of speaking opportunities

It is such a joy to be able to share various aspects of Theology of the Body with an incredible range of audiences. This year, there were plenty of high schools, parishes, a couple of middle schools, Northern Kentucky University, Marian University, the Edith Stein Project at the University of Notre Dame, Theology on Tap, the first Parrhesia young adult conference in Cincinnati. With such a range of topics and audiences (junior high, high school, college, parents, academics, young adults), I am always given new opportunities to learn and to grow.

7) Kenosis Restore retreat: Encounter at the Well

This year’s Kenosis Restore retreat centered on John 4 – the encounter of Jesus with the woman at the well. It was a wonderful opportunity for the teens to pray, reflect in silence, spend time with other Kenosis teens, and learn about Christ’s thirst for union with each of us as a unique, unrepeatable person. These retreats are vitally important to our philosophy of first receiving God’s love in a relationship with Him, which enables us to give in whatever way the Lord invites us to give of ourselves.

6) World Youth Day

Madrid, Spain was my third (and quite possibly, last) World Youth Day, but my first as a chaperone. It was beautiful to watch the teens’ desire to be open to all that God had for them on the pilgrimage. It was also quite stunning to witness a million or more young people kneeling in the mud in complete silence during Exposition

of the Blessed Sacrament, led by Pope Benedict XVI. This is exactly what people need to experience when they accuse the young of an inability to rise to the challenge of faith.

5) Teaching at the seminary

What a tremendous gift it was for me to be able to teach a Theology of the Body master’s course at Mt. St. Mary’s Seminary of the West and the Athenaeum in Cincinnati this fall! It was an honor to be able to teach future priests, as well as two laypeople. I was also given the opportunity to further immerse myself in Theology of the Body and in the more precise theological aspects of the teaching that are not fit for hour-long talks or teen retreats. It is also exciting to see how an “adequate anthropology” might impact future homilies, marriage prep programs, and other parish initiatives.

4) Working with the Kenosis teens on various projects, retreats, etc.

This year, my fellow Theology of the Body education coordinator and I have striven to give the Kenosis teens opportunities to use their gifts and talents to build a culture of life and a civilization of love. We have had a junior core of six high sch

ool students on TOB for Teens retreats. Two teens created an incredible new promo video, which debuted at our September banquet. Some students have traveled with us to speak to junior high students. There are countless opportunities to use gifts of speaking, design, video work, writing, prayer and leadership to serve the youth of the Tri-state area.

3) Hearing a young man at TOB for Teens talk about his sudden desire to become a priest.

During a Theology of the Body for Teens program, one young man struggled to put into words the consistent call he felt during the program: “Even though you didn’t talk much about it explicitly, I kept hearing this voice say, ‘Be a priest! Be a priest!’ Then you brought a seminarian to speak to us, and I felt like he was talking to me. I want to consider going to college seminary next year, because I think this may be where God is calling me.”

2) Called to be More vocations pilgrimage walk

How to summarize one week of walking 150 miles with ten high school students and five adults in order to pray for vocations, discern personal vocations and to witness to the astonishing fact that God always calls us to be more? There were plenty of blisters, sore feet, injured knees and

ankles, long days of walking. But there were also beautiful churches (we stopped to pray in 30 of them), wonderful conversations with people along the journey, a wealth of community prayer and plenty of laughter. Even in the suffering, there

was joy. The teens are still talking about the pilgrimage walk and the ways in which it has impacted them.

1) John Paul II’s beatification

Not only was John Paul II beatified this May 1, but I was blessed to be present at St. Peter’s Square for the big event. How incredible to stand with a million or more people from around the world, as Pope Benedict XVI made the official proclamation. We applauded until our arms ached while they unveiled the portrait of Bl. John Paul II. The beatification gave me the chance to thank a man who I never had the opportunity to meet while he was on earth (though I did see him from a few feet away at World Youth Day 2002). Bl. John Paul II’s influence on my life continues to this day. How fitting to make a pilgrimage in order to thank him and to thank God for sending us such an incredible Holy Father in a unique time in the history of the Church and of the world.

Thinking about the Holy Family

2011-12-30T09:05:00.007-05:00

The Holy Family is a mysterious reality that we tend to relegate to nativity sets that don't move. In many ways, then, our image of Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus is one of folded hands, frozen faces and perfect stillness. This isn't a bad place to begin. I was struck the other day by my parish's nativity set and the incredible humility of Mary and Joseph expressed through their facial expressions and the way in which they hold their hands. It communicates a reverence for the mystery present. We are called to cultivate a sense of reverence for the mystery of God's love in our own lives, and I can only imagine this sense was heightened considerably for Mary and Joseph. (John Paul II wrote in "Letter to Families" -- "In the life of husband and wife together, fatherhood and motherhood represent such a sublime 'novelty' and richness as can only be approached 'on one's knees'" (#7).

Yet, when we assume that Mary and Joseph glided through life as immovable statues, with eyes constantly glued to their Son, and hands always folded, it becomes a bit difficult to see how we could ever aspire to enter into the mystery of the Holy Family.

Do we imagine that these three people ate together? Took walks together? That Joseph taught Jesus how to be a carpenter, while Mary watched and smiled from the corner? That Jesus delighted His parents with His ability to memorize the Hebrew Scriptures? That Joseph awoke early to work for His little family? That Mary sewed Jesus' clothes, measuring Him and loving Him even in such an ordinary work?

What did they talk about? (It's easy to think they just sat in silence day-in and day-out.) For how long did Mary and Jesus cry when Joseph died? What did Joseph say to them as he lay dying? What did they say to him? Did they miss him?

Do we think about how Joseph protected his precious Son and wife? Do we think about Jesus and Mary submitting themselves to Joseph's care? Receiving Joseph's gift of self in humility and gratitude?

Do we think about Mary's constant "fiat" to serving her God in the most unique and unrepeatable way possible? Do we imagine the love of Mary and Joseph for one another, or do we only imagine they loved Jesus without caring for one another?

Do we consider how Jesus united His mother and father? Do we consider how Jesus served them, and allowed them to serve Him?

Do we ever wonder about the trust, commitment, surrender, self-emptying and faith that was required to love the way God called Joseph and Mary to love? Do we only focus on the peace and ease of it all? Was it difficult to love? Were there feelings of being incapable? How did they constantly rely on the Lord for their strength to love fully? Was it because He dwelt among them as their Son?

How can we enter into the mystery of the Holy Family? How can we receive the model of their love? Is it possible to reflect the goodness of the Holy Family when our families are full of people who aren't sinless?

Did Joseph and Mary have to learn to love or were they just born with this superhuman ability to love perfectly? It's easy to forget that they were human. They were not love incarnate; they were entrusted with love incarnate. There is a difference.

So, let's pray: Mary and Joseph, intercede for us as we learn the truth about the gift of self. You were given to each other. You were given to your Son. Your Son was given to you. Through the gift of love in your Holy Family, you cultivated a space for Love to be born into the world. Pray for us as we strive to love the way your Son calls us to. Pray for us to receive the graces He gives us. Thank you for your "yes" to God's plan -- not simply for your own lives but for the entire world. Thank you for the many times you renewed that "yes" in the face of fear, confusion or hardship. Please pray that we might imitate the generous and selfless love that was present in your Holy Family. Amen.

"The Child whom we contemplate is our salvation!"

2011-12-29T08:32:00.001-05:00

It's a beautiful way to celebrate this Christmas season -- reading Pope Benedict XVI's Urbi et Orbi Christmas message.

Jesus Christ is the proof that God has heard our cry. And not only this! God’s love for us is so strong that he cannot remain aloof; he comes out of himself to enter into our midst and to share fully in our human condition (cf. Ex 3:7-12). The answer to our cry which God gave in Jesus infinitely transcends our expectations, achieving a solidarity which cannot be human alone, but divine. Only the God who is love, and the love which is God, could choose to save us in this way, which is certainly the lengthiest way, yet the way which respects the truth about him and about us: the way of reconciliation, dialogue and cooperation.

Read the entire message here.

The gift of life

2011-12-28T09:15:00.001-05:00

Today is the feast of the Holy Innocents. It's a tragic thought to consider one man's greed and pride resulting in the brutal murder of all children under the age of two. Of course, we live in a culture that willingly destroys the lives of the preborn when they are deemed inconvenient.

If you did not see the recent story in the Cincinnati Enquirer about the Cordier family's decision to welcome their newest daughter into the family, it's a beautiful read. After learning of her diagnosis with Trisomy 18, medical personnel were shocked that the Cordiers did not choose an abortion. Instead, they are cherishing every unexpected, miraculous moment with their little girl.

For a time, Ann says, she felt a “black cloud” hovering over her. She knew that babies with Trisomy 18 die when the brain stops sending signals for them to breathe and for their hearts to beat. But that cloud passed.

“Then I was able to enjoy her life, rather than focus on her death,” Ann says. “I also felt this sense of duty to share her with everyone who had been praying.”

Says Andy: “It’s been a lot of prayers. That’s what we feel. The calming effect, just the joy. She’s got a bad condition, but just look how beautiful she is.”

Back in August, before classes started, Ann took Sophia to St. Gertrude School on the day kindergartners and first-graders met their teachers. She and her baby went from classroom to classroom, greeting teachers and families. Since then, Sophia has been to church and elsewhere in the community.

Before Thanksgiving, though, the family was again reminded of the fragility of her life when Sophia caught a cold that developed into pneumonia. She has nearly recovered now, although she still wears an oxygen tube in her nose.

“I’ve actually been praying for a peaceful death for her, thinking it’s imminent, but it might not be,” Ann says. “She has surprised every doctor, every nurse at hospice.”

It’s not common, but some children with Trisomy 18 live into early adulthood.

The Cordiers have tried to prepare themselves for whatever awaits.

“We focus on, should she die, what’s next for her,” Ann says. “It’s heaven. And she would be perfectly happy with Jesus in heaven.”

Read the story here.

Where's the silence? Where's the peace?

2011-12-27T10:03:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas! Unlike the consumerist culture, our Christmas just began and continues until Epiphany (even until February 2, the Feast of the Presentation of the Lord, depending on what you mean). It was a bit of a shock shortly after midnight, December 25 passing into December 26, to turn on a radio station that constantly plays Christmas music during December, only to find that since we were 25 minutes past the 25th, the window of time for Christmas music was apparently over.

Elizabeth Scalia reflects on another difference between a Catholic sense of Christmas and that of the culture at large in this piece. It is a wonderful read.

We have allowed silence to become a gift forgotten, one we only consent to unwrap when all of our alternative bows and strings have been unraveled, and our diversions have been utterly played out. Our inability to be silent puts our minds and our souls at a disadvantage, because it robs us of the ability to wonder, and if we are not wondering at the impossible perfection of the world in its creation—if we are not wondering at spinning atoms and Incarnations—then we are lost to humility, and to experiencing gratitude.

And, without gratitude, we cannot develop a reasoned capacity for joy.

Read it all here.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T09:05:00.002-05:00

"Adorable mystery of the Incarnate Word! Together with you, O Virgin Mother, may we stop and reflect at the manger where the Child lies, to share your own amazement at the immense "condescension" of God. Grant us your own eyes, O Mary, that we may understand the mystery hidden within the frail limbs of your Son. Teach us to recognize his face in the children of every race and culture. Help us to be credible witnesses of his message of peace and love, so that the men and women of our own time, still torn by conflicts and unspeakable violence, may also recognize in the Child cradled in your arms the one Saviour of the world, the endless source of that true peace for which every heart profoundly yearns." -- Bl. John Paul II

The art of giving and receiving

2011-12-24T08:17:00.000-05:00

Christmas has become the season for giving for appearance’s sake – grabbing a box of chocolates at Walgreens, slapping a red bow on the box and handing it to whomever you might feel the slightest tinge of obligation to say, “Merry Christmas.”

When Christmas approaches, one of the first questions we hear is, “Have you finished your Christmas shopping?” It’s a question typically followed by stress-induced sighs, eye-rolling and hair-pulling.

Have we forgotten the nature of a gift?

It’s a question worth pondering. Giving has become an obligation, an inconvenience and a practice rarely rooted in a desire to participate in the giving of God. Not only does our reflection about giving impact how we approach the presents under the tree this Christmas, but it also sheds light on the Gift that we receive in Christ becoming man, living, dying and rising for us.
Perhaps we should begin with the realization that we are even able to receive gifts. Before anything else, we received the gift of our very lives. Where there once was nothing, God did not create simply something, but someone. He literally loved you into existence.

Although God did not have to create us, it was fitting that He did. Why? Because who He is within Himself is Love. Love always wants to give and to be fruitful. So out of His abundant generosity, God created us as a pure gift.

But He doesn’t stop there. He gave us the gift of free will and of intellect, and therefore the ability to love Him in return. We aren’t robots who give a monotone, “I love you” upon command. The gift to receive love and to give in return is an unfathomable blessing, yet one we often take for granted.

God didn’t stop with the gift of making us in His image and likeness either. When Adam and Eve used their free will and intellect to choose their own plan, instead of embracing God’s loving gift, He did not throw His hands in the air in disgust or leave us to our own pitiable plans. Rather, He revealed His love to us in the most unexpected way – through another gift.

Approximately 2,000 years ago, on a particular day in a particular town at a particular time, a particular woman gave birth to God incarnate. In the greatest humility, generosity and desire for His creatures, God gave us the gift of Himself – a visible revelation of the Love that created us and then redeemed us. The silence and simplicity eloquently captures our attention – God loves us each intimately and profoundly, and is willing to slip into our daily routines to offer us a glimpse of His radical love.

What, then, is a gift? It is something we cannot earn or produce for ourselves. It is freely given. It is a revelation of generosity. It is irreplaceable. It expresses and solidifies a relationship between two people. A gift includes something of oneself, which, along with the gift, is either received or rejected.

If the very meaning of our lives is gift, then how does our material gift-giving reflect this? During this Christmas season, as we wrap our presents and check off our shopping lists, may we do so out of love, generosity and a desire to share in the love of God that is revealed in an outstanding way through the Baby Jesus entrusting Himself into our hands into our hearts.

Preaching joy on the Today Show

2011-12-23T09:35:00.002-05:00

Fr. Robert Barron has a real gift. Watch his recent appearance on the Today Show to see his invitation to Catholicism.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Thanks to The Love of Christ Impels Us for the link.

The end of the high school reunion?

2011-12-22T09:05:00.003-05:00

We tend to think little of the actual effects of media and technology upon us and upon our culture. It seems as if they are neutral tools to be used for good or for ill. In reality, however, it seems that social media and various forms of technology and dramatically transforming culture and the way in which we interact with others. It's a topic I have addressed before, but it always has a way of manifesting itself in new ways.

So, here we are at the New York Times again. They recently ran a story about the decrease in high school reunions. A major factor, the article reported, is facebook. Perhaps that seems a stretch at first, but the article does a compelling job of explaining why. People feel that they don't need to see one another when they know all about former classmates' lives through social networking.

But it's one thing to know about a person's life and another to know them. It's one thing to see a picture on a computer screen and another thing to shake someone's hand, give a hug or be present in real life. It's one thing to have a series of questions answered that are mostly available to the public online and another thing to sit down with someone and ask questions, have a conversation, learn about life in a manner that isn't neatly packaged on facebook.

In the article, one of the most fascinating quotes to me was this one from Michael Fox:

“Even as a borderline user of social networking, I have a pretty good grasp of where people are, what they do, their family life, etc.,” he said. “So a lot of the mystery of the traditional reunion was missing.”

This sentiment was echoed by Donna DeFilippis, who has been organizing reunions for more than 30 years:

“It used to be that you walked in the door totally blind, and there was such energy and excitement in the room,” Ms. DeFilippis said. “Today, even if you’re not friends with them on Facebook, you can get a cursory look at your classmates online, so it takes that fundamental mystery away.”

The absence of mystery. How often do we contemplate the way in which social networking robs us of the sense of mystery? Who would have ever thought that something like facebook would radically decrease the desire for a high school reunion? Who would have thought that engagements, weddings, pregnancies and other big announcements would seem less meaningful when proclaimed on social networking?

It reminds me of a children's television show, "Adventures in Wonderland," that I watched as a child. On one particular episode, Rabbit is struggling to get others' attention. He tries to be as loud as possible, screaming, yelling, making all sorts of noise. No one will listen. Eventually, he begins to whisper. At this point, the people around him come closer, they stop what they are doing, they become intent on hearing his words. They are curious. They want to know what mystery is surrounded by silence.

Today our social media-immersed world has us attempting to share monumental moments and experiences by adding to the noise. We submit our statuses and photos and comments and "likes" into a world so drowned in distraction and cacophony that the only response we receive is a "like" or another comment, placing our decision of a vocation or news of receiving a child on the same level as what movie one watched on Friday night or someone's opinion on PB&J sandwiches for lunch.

This isn't to place a blanket condemnation upon social media (after all, I am blogging, right?), but it is a cautious note that we all take time to consider how we are being affected and how we can seek to protect the beauty of mystery, silence and surprise.

Pope explains meaning of Christmas

2011-12-21T13:58:00.000-05:00

Real faces, fake bodies

2011-12-20T10:54:00.002-05:00

Apparently H&M has used computer-generated bodies to model their swimsuits (and perhaps other clothing). They photoshop a real face on to the fake body, and -- voila! -- they can market clothes.

But what impossible standard does this set for women today? That we can look at a fake body that looks real and entertain impossible ideas of looking like that? Does this tell us that no matter what we look like it, it just can't be good enough? That even models aren't good enough, so just by this sweater or dress to stuff the feelings of inadequacy for awhile -- not to look good but to forget our inability to be beautiful?

I just visited the H&M website and was unnerved by the eeriness of seeing fictitious bodies matched with real-life faces. It is almost as if it were another form of attempting to create a human or a hybrid or some sort of person-like entity.

And perhaps the strangest thing is that these bodies look rather real. We could flip through the pages of a magazine and have no idea that we are passing through pages of computer-generated unreality. It goes to show that reality is not always what we think it is. Authentic beauty isn't either.

The Christmas Story (HD version)

2011-12-19T08:47:00.000-05:00

Why receiving is giving

2011-12-18T08:30:00.002-05:00

The other day I was walking into Panera for a quick dinner, when I noticed a middle-aged woman walking behind me. Struck with a momentary spirit of generosity, I decided to open the door for her and allow her to go first. She stunned me when she looked up and said, "No thanks." Puzzled, I continued to hold the door for her and gesture for her to go through. "No, you can go," she said. I tried a third time, to which she politely said, "Go ahead. Thanks though."

I'm still shaking my head a bit over this one. I realize it is often difficult to receive from others, but I have never had anyone willing to debate who should walk through a door first during three attempts.

I also felt disappointed. All I wanted to do was allow the woman to go first. It was simple. It didn't cost me anything, but perhaps my place in line. I wasn't asking anything from her, with the simple exception that she receive the gift. When she did not, I walked away feeling a bit rejected.

When we offer a gift, we aren't simply offering the material (or immaterial) thing. We are also offering part of ourselves. That's why a gift can never be a matter of mere economic exchange -- this for that. It's also why we have a desire for the gift to be accepted. When it is accepted, our gift of self has been too. When it is rejected, we have been rejected.

I'm sure the stranger at Panera had no intention of rejecting me. She even said, "Thanks anyway," as I invited her to enter the restaurant first. But in insisting that she be in control, she was not giving. She was taking.

May we all come to understand more deeply that our receiving is a form of giving ... not only in our interactions with friends, family and strangers, but even more so, with God.

Quote book

2011-12-17T09:14:00.001-05:00

"As Scripture reminds us so frequently: Do not be afraid. God uses poor clay to create grandeur and beauty. He can certainly use us to renew and advance the work of his Church -- and he will."

-- Archbishop Charles Chaput

"Our Twins: A Short Story"

2011-12-16T09:48:00.002-05:00

A friend from college and his wife recently shared the story of the birth of their twin daughters. While at first glance, the preceding sentence sounds as if it refers to a commonplace event, I cannot assure you that it does not. The story deserves a full reading, however, and I don't want to cut and paste any part of it to ensure that it is read in its proper order, in its entirety.

Read the Kuzmas' story and hear how this mother and father cherished life.

Encounter at the Well

2011-12-15T10:02:00.006-05:00

This past weekend we had our second annual Kenosis "Restore" retreat. It is a gift every year to gather a wonderful group of high school students who have completed the Theology of the Body for Teens program in order to focus on prayer, silence, discernment and God's love. There is often a desire after TOB for Teens to share the good news with friends, family, co-workers -- sometimes even complete strangers -- but if this desire is not first rooted in prayer and receiving the love of God, then there is no way for God's love to overflow into others' lives.

This year's retreat was centered on the encounter of Christ with the woman at the well in John 4. Toward the beginning of the weekend, the teens were sent on a perilous journey from "Judea" to "Galilee." Meanwhile, a well was constructed in the middle of the main room. For the rest of the weekend, our talks were given surrounding the well in "Samaria."

In the beginning of John 4, it says that Jesus went from Judea to Galilee and "had to pass through Samaria." In reality, Samaria was not on the way. Why did he have to pass through? Because of His desire to encounter the woman of Samaria and to invite her to receive His love. Our first talk centered on the unique and unrepeatable love that Christ has for each person. We also talked about the beautiful way in which God uses particular people, particular times, particular circumstances to bring us to Him. In short, God has a particular plan for each of us that He invites us to receive.

Saturday morning began with quiet reflection on John 4, followed by a talk about the Eucharist as the source of the well. We also learned about the meaning and necessity of a water -- a concept that is somewhat lost in our current culture and situation. How does Jesus continue to fill us at the well? By giving of Himself in the Eucharist, the source and summit of our faith.

We didn't simply talk about the importance of the Eucharist, however. We were then able to attend Mass together in the retreat center chapel. Fr. Adam Puntel's homily fit perfectly with the theme thus far.

In the early afternoon, we had a panel of four seminarians who answered questions about prayer and discernment. There were a lot of laughs, some note-taking and plenty of food for thought, as the seminarians witnessed to the importance of prayer and cultivating a desire for prayer.

Later in the afternoon we had men's and women's sessions dedicated to a masculine or feminine approach to prayer and the Eucharist. I can't speak for the men's session, but I do know that the women's session focused on the application of John 4 to our personal lives, as well as growing in our ability to receive.

After dinner, we had a talk in the chapel about Christ's thirst for us. We often talk about our desire for God, but we don't always consider that He desires us as well. This was the perfect lens through which to view confession and Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament, which took place

during the remainder of the evening. Throughout the night there was also an opportunity for students to spend a half-hour in prayer in front of the Blessed Sacrament.

On Sunday morning we had a final talk to send us forth on the journey. The woman at the well left her water jug at the well, went into the town and told everyone about the Christ. What does that mean for us?

After Mass with Fr. Kyle Schnippel, we were ready to be sent forth, in a similar way to the woman at the well. Ready with renewed realization that we can only give when we are receiving God's love, we walked away knowing that Christ desires to encounter us daily.

It was a whirlwind weekend! There were also games, sports, a talent show (a yearly highlight!) and opportunities for conversation. The retreat aims to be a blend of talks, small group discussion, silent personal reflection and fun. It continues to be a gift to serve the teens in Kenosis. Their faithfulness and desire for Christ teaches all of the adults in ways they probably don't realize.

So, thank you for your prayers. It was a fruitful weekend.

A baby miracle story

2011-12-14T08:51:00.000-05:00

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Back from retreat

2011-12-13T15:05:00.003-05:00

Slow blogging! As you can imagine, leading retreats can be a tad exhausting -- though very worthwhile. Consequently, I have not yet had the time to write a follow-up report. Thank you so much for the prayers. It was a wonderful weekend. Within the next day or two, I will give a full report.

2011-12-11T05:14:00.001-05:00

Please pray for the conclusion of our retreat today, as the Lord invites each retreatant to encounter Him in a unique and unrepeatable way.

"Love Multiplies, Not Divides"

2011-12-10T09:25:00.000-05:00

Take a journey with Joseph Koss, as he experiences becoming a father of one, then transitioning to the role of father of two.

My wife and I are the best of friends. She admits that she knew that I might be the one while we were dating because she, “never got sick” of me. The fact that I didn’t bore her is a pretty awesome feat, as she is a very interesting and fun person. So when our daughter came there were some nervous thoughts about how we wouldnt be only focused on each other, or how we would divide our love or time. But things came naturally, and our little girl became an extension of us, it was as if our love was so awesome for one another it couldn’t be contained in just two people… so it created another! God really is pretty amazing isn’t he?

As my girl grew, so did I. As I said, we had just moved to Alaska and I was learning to live a very interesting life. Hiking, fishing, hunting, and now this winter trapping. All very outdoorsy activities that are a way of life around here. We are very attached parents, and our daughter is always with us. I started taking her out on little adventures with me. Hiking, fishing, hunting and the like. As this winter rolled around, which starts in October for us, she started going out to the “river” with me to go trapping. I don’t expect her to be a tomboy or even really desire it that much, my goal was to spend time with my daughter. So as we grew to be buddies, our second child grew in my wife’s belly. A lot of people said, “It’s a boy!” They were excited because they knew I would finally have a son, and that I would be able to take him on all my adventures; that is when I got scared.

Read the whole account here.

If a Catholic martyr wrote a letter to his girlfriend, what would he say?

2011-12-09T09:22:00.000-05:00

"My dearest Maruja:

Your memory will remain with me to the grave and, as long as the slightest throb stirs my heart, it will beat for love of you. God has deemed fit to sublimate these worldly affections, ennobling them when we love each other in him. Though in my final days, God is my light and what I long for, this does not mean that the recollection of the one dearest to me will not accompany me until the hour of my death."

Read the rest of Bartolomé Blanco Márquez's letter here.

Prayer request

2011-12-08T13:42:00.002-05:00

Our second Kenosis "Restore" retreat is this weekend, and we would love your prayers! The theme is, "Encounter at the Well," and we will be delving deeply into John 4. Please pray for the 21 teens registered to attend, as well as the 6 adult leaders, and special guest 5 priests and 4 seminarians. We have a wonderful weekend planned and know that your prayers will provide a tremendous opportunity for the retreatants to draw closer to Christ.

Support Sacred Heart Radio

2011-12-07T11:33:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow is a Sacred Heart Radio pledge drive, which are always so much fun! That's not sarcasm, by the way. One of the beautiful aspects of a local Catholic station is the way in which it draws a whole city (or tri-state) together. Pledge drives are always like little reunions. And the station knows how to plan drives to coincide with major Catholic feasts, ensuring that a good Catholic celebration will be had by all.

Please consider supporting the station tomorrow, either by calling or by pledging online. Without Sacred Heart Radio, we would be missing some excellent Catholic education, formation, prayer and unification.

"The Freedom of Astonishment"

2011-12-06T10:45:00.001-05:00

Brad Bursa has some great thoughts about the gift of life in his latest column, "The Freedom of Astonishment":

The billboard points to a truth that it most likely didn’t intend – even the most valiant attempts at self-creation depend upon others. Reality exists outside of me (it would even exist without me), and I simply participate in it. Reality is simply a given – it is given to me. My engagement with reality is filled with “givens” – namely, my wife, my children, my good health, my sufferings, etc. Not even my job is self-made. Any success in the workplace can be traced back through a network of “givens” – my schooling, the virtues passed on to me by my parents, support received from co-workers and employers. I think a purely self-made man would never escape his own mind, though I’m not sure what would be in that isolated mind. Failing to recognize the mistake in this “self-made” conception of life squashes any chance of astonishment. Self-made implies a self-imposing will, forcing life to conform to given standards. There is little room for surprise, only careful calculations.

Life is meaningful, not because I create my own perfect reality, but precisely because it is given. Life is gift. Life within reality has been given to us as a sort of intimate relationship – like that of child given to parent, and parent to child. Questions about what makes life meaningful, or where am I going, find their full flowering of meaning by plumbing the existential depths of my being.

Read the rest here.

"Hidden Sacrifice of the Priesthood"

2011-12-05T09:35:00.002-05:00

Fr. Kyle Schnippel has some great thoughts on the sacrifices of families of priests and religious.

However, there is a sometimes hidden cost of responding to a priestly or religious vocation that becomes quite evident this time of year, but not necessarily for the priest or religious, but for his or her family. Because of our responsibilities and assignments, we often miss family gatherings during the holidays, or when we get there, we are so tired and worn down, all we want to do is sleep; yet nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters, parents are all excited to see you and want to hear about what we have been doing.

But especially for members of religious communities, even this is not an option. Often stationed in houses around the globe, families have to make due with a two week ‘home visit’ at different points during the year. In between, hand written letters are often the only means of communication that goes between family and the professed. While the evident joy can temper some of the feelings of loss in the rest of the family, there is still something missing when that son or daughter’s chair remains empty during Christmas Dinner.

Read it all at his blog.

Jason Evert on Twilight

2011-12-04T08:51:00.000-05:00

Quote book

2011-12-03T09:11:00.002-05:00

"In the first place I say this: you must never think that you are alone in deciding your future! And second: when deciding your future, you must not decide for yourself alone." - Pope John Paul II

A "yes" to the dress is a yes to what?

2011-12-02T10:05:00.003-05:00

A friend sent me this blog post, "How Wedding Dresses Transform Women." It's not from a Catholic blog, nor is it from an authentic femininity-minded magazine. It's from the often-inappropriate Huffington Post.

So, it's a bit of a surprise to read such a beautiful depiction of one woman's experience with brides-to-be. She begins with women who are merely going through the motions, who would like to just wear a white pant suit, slip on the ring, ready to return to business executive life as usual.

But the author has noticed something fascinating:

I am always amazed by these women! I usually respond that I have no pantsuits available, and that they should try a narrow and simple dress. I am not sure how this happens but when a woman tries on my dresses, she is immediately transfigured. It may be due to the whiteness of the fabric, or the definition of her body through the silhouette of the dress, and the natural flow of the expensive silk brushing against her legs as she moves. She tries her first dress on and is shocked by her own beauty. She begins to trust me. I suggest the same shape in lace, and she marvels at how skinny she looks and wonders at the many years she has professionally hidden herself in cashmere and heavy black tights. Bit by bit we inch our way into curiously trying on larger dresses and in one courageous statement she squeaks, "Can we try a veil?" The moment a veil is placed on her head she begins to cry, and then to sob.

It is the abandoned dream and vision of herself that was once forgotten somewhere between the divorce of her parents, high school exams, and her first broken heart. It is the internal struggle of regrets versus survival and that suddenly in the mirror a vision of herself looking like she is in love, and looking like she is vulnerable, and even giddy with joy makes her uncomfortable. It is a woman that she does not know. It is the woman she used to be, even as a little girl.

As a child, she would dream of being in love. Images from Disney movies, ballet, music, and TV convinced her some gallant man would profess his indisputable love for her and then confirm his aching desire to spend eternity with her in a perfect wedding.

I think that these thoughts are quite typical of young girls. They dream of being coveted, and they dream of being a princess. As little girls become teens and young women, often their princess fantasies are stamped out and substituted by professional protocol, and corporate culture. They have to fight for themselves to get ahead and protect themselves. They are taught not to rely on others, especially men. Reality and dashed expectations have given them a somewhat hard edge.

It's amazing to listen to the experience of designer Justina McCaffery in her wedding dress consultations. Is there any other piece of clothing that can evoke such a powerful surge of memories, dreams, hopes and ideals? Read the rest of the story here.

Quote book

2011-12-01T14:04:00.002-05:00

"It is not that the greedy cannot give; they cannot receive." -- Fr. Brian Bransfield, "Living the Beatitudes: A Journey to Life in Christ

A culture of vocations

2011-11-30T09:35:00.002-05:00

Archbishop Timothy Dolan has some wonderful thoughts on "building a culture of vocations." Here's a glimpse of his wisdom and humor:

Do you know how sad it is when you are talking to a young man about becoming a priest, and we’ll start chatting, and you see there is an interest there, and he has his wits about him, and the know-how and the enthusiasm and the sincerity, and then you’ll say to him, “How can I follow through? Can I give you a call?” And sometimes — it will break your heart — he’ll say, “Don’t call the house, because mom and dad will be upset if they hear I am thinking about becoming a priest.”

There is what you might call the negative side of the family. I happen to think there might be a benevolent explanation for that, and that moms and dads deep down only want their kids to be happy, and they think that priests are unhappy. And if they think that priests are crabs, they don’t want their sons to be that. So that’s why I always say to priests, “We’ve got to be men of joy, or else what parent is going to want his or her son to be a priest?”

I think that is changing, and we’ve got a positive influence. When the family beams, when the family encourages, when the family fosters. You often see me write or speak about a “culture of vocations.” What I mean by a culture of vocations is that when our young people grow up in a culture that encourages you to do God’s will and that affirms one in his desire to be a priest, you are going to get priests. I grew up in such a culture. I said to my teachers in grade school, “I think I want to be a priest,” and they beamed and did everything possible to encourage me. My parish priest would. My folks would. My neighbors would. The parish would. I can remember as a kid — I must have been 9 or 10 years old — getting a haircut, and the barber said, “Hey shrimp, what do you want to be when you grow up?” I said, “I want to be a priest.” And he wasn’t even a Catholic, but he said, “Hey, isn’t that great?” Now that is the culture of vocations that we need in the Church.

Read it all here.

Miracle at St. Malo

2011-11-29T08:47:00.003-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, a fire left the St. Malo Retreat Center in the midst of the Rockies in Denver a charred mess. It was a significant place for many reasons. Bl. John Paul II stayed at the retreat center during World Youth Day in Denver in 1993. His walking stick, Bible and other items from his visit have remained on display since.

And after the fire?

Miraculously, among the charred ruins, the late Holy Father's belongings were found unscathed.

Restore retreat: Encounter at the well

2011-11-28T11:02:00.001-05:00

The second annual Kenosis "Restore" retreat will be December 9-11. It is open to all high school students who have completed the Theology of the Body for Teens program. Space is limited! Registration is available at the Ruah Woods website.

Anonymous Father's Day Official Trailer

2011-11-27T10:00:00.001-05:00

From the makers of "Eggsploitation," this looks like it will be a moving, thought-provoking documentary:

The adventure of life

2011-11-26T08:47:00.002-05:00

College seminarian Sebastian, and friend of Unshakeable Hope, recently pondered the meaning of life and death on his blog. Here's a piece:

My very existence (as the Sebastian people know and love) is a contradiction.
I want to die for glory.
I want to live forever.
I want to be Peter Pan. Any one who knows me well knows this: I have an avid fear of growing old. Gerascophobia. Not so much a fear of dying, necessarily. Every one's afraid of dying (any one who tells you differently is trying to get your vote next November.) But I want to be always young and to have fun...to not suffer.
But we have to suffer. There is no love without suffering.
And if I do not suffer, I will life forever. And if I live forever, I can never die for glory. And if I never live with love and die for glory, namely God's, then I can never achieve eternal happiness and immortal life in Heaven with Him.

Read it all here.

Adventures of a father

2011-11-25T09:35:00.000-05:00

Brent Stubbs shared this video recently as a glimpse into the goodness of fatherhood.